3.21: Kidnapped and spirited away to a distant castle! — The scaffold at one of Her Majesty's gaols. — Horrors of a medieval marriage. (A Ha'penny Horrors half-hour minisode)

A half-hour- long (plus a bit) Ha'penny Horror 'Hursday minisode IN WHICH —

0:02:00: THE BLACK BAND; OR, THE COMPANIONS OF MIDNIGHT, Chapter 21:

• IN WHICH:— We return to Clara Melville at the theatre. Reginald Faulkner has been wooing her for some time now, sending flowers every night, and eventually sending her a packet of books. We know a formalization of their relationship cannot be far distant … but then one day, as she is walking home, she is forcibly scooped up by a pair of rough-looking men in a carriage and hurried off to Calais. One of them tells her she has a rich maiden aunt who has ordered her kidnapped and brought to her, to settle her vast estate upon her. And, being young and naïve, Clara believes him … should she? We shall see.

0:16:15: TERRIBLE TIDBIT OF THE DAY (from "Dickens' Dreadful Almanac"):

• An account of an unsuccessful attempt at a garrote robbery.

0:18:20: BEAUTIFUL VENICE; THE SCAFFOLD; CHARMING MAY.

• A broadside printed up in 1835 with three ballads printed on it, differing hilariously in tone.

0:22:36: THE SANGUINARY REVENGE:

• A truly horrible account of the sufferings of Madame la Comtesse de Chateaubriand, caught up in a personal power struggle between King Francis I and her coldly murderous husband. From The Terrific Register (1825).

Join host Finn J.D. John. for a half-hour-long spree through the darkest and loathliest stories seen on the streets of early-Victorian London! Grab a flicker of blue ruin, switch off your mirror neurons, and let's go!

GLOSSARY OF FLASH TERMS USED IN THIS EPISODE:

• HIGH PADS: Highway robbers who work on foot rather than mounted on horseback.

• CRACKSMEN: Housebreakers or burglars.
• KNIGHTS OF THE BRUSH AND MOON: Drunken fellows wandering amok in meadows and ditches, trying to stagger home.
• CORINTHIAN: A fancy toff or titled swell. Used here as a reference to Corinthian Tom, the quintessential Regency rake depicted in Pierce Egan's "Life in London" (usually referred to as "Tom and Jerry")
• CHAFFING-CRIB: A room where drinking and bantering are going on.
• SHERRY OFF: To run away at top speed. Adopted from the nautical term "to sheer off."
• FLATS: Innocent, not-too-smart persons who are duped by "sharps." In other words, suckers.
• BUMS: Bailiffs.
• CRAPPING COVES: Pronounced "crêpe-ing," it means hangmen, who cause the widows of the criminals they execute to wear crêpe in mourning.
• THE OLD STONE JUG: Newgate Prison, or prisons in general.
• PADDINGTON FAIR: Execution day at Tyburn Tree gallows, which was in Paddington parish.
• DUNWICH, TOWN OF (spelled with no "T"): A seacoast town east of London, once very large, which eroded away and fell into the sea starting in the 13th century; only a few streets and houses remain today.
• DUNWITCH, BARONY OF (spelled with a "T"): A small estate in the hills West of Arkham, according to Colonial chronicler H.P. Lovecraft. Does not actually exist, but if it did, would be headed by Finn J.D. John, 18th Baron Dunwitch.

• DUNSANY, BARONY OF: A large estate in Ireland, including Dunsany Castle in County Meath, headed until 1957 by legendary fantasy author Edward J.M.D. Plunkett, 18th Baron Dunsany.