3.16: Sir Francis Varney's second visit to poor Flora! — Evil Lord Ruthven moves in on poor Mr. Aubrey's sister! — We learn a song about the Sunday Trading Riots of 1855.

Episode 16 of Season Three! — A Sunday-evening full episode (released a few hours early) IN WHICH —

02:45: VARNEY THE VAMPYRE, Ch. 20:

• In which: Pop quiz, hotshot: What two words should you NEVER say when you know there is a vampire in the neighborhood, and someone knocks on your bedroom door? Even if you think it’s your brother or fiancé? You know the answer. The legend is, they can only cross the threshold if someone invites them, right? So — the words to never say are, “Come in!” Guess someone should have told Flora Bannerworth that ….

15:45: VARNEY THE VAMPYRE, Ch. 21:

• In which: Admiral Bell is absolutely convinced, in spite of himself, and enthusiastically proclaims himself Team Flora. Then a scream rings out. The vampire has visited once again! They run for Flora’s room. Will she be OK? And can they catch the hideous vampire before he makes his escape from the house?

34:00: THE VAMPYRE, by Dr. John Polidori (Part 3 of 3):

• IN WHICH: Our hero, Mr. Aubrey, has returned to his native shore, a sadder and wiser young man ... or maybe not, because when the formerly dead Lord Ruthven makes his appearance, whispering "Remember your oath" to him, he seems unable to disobey ... this won't end well, will it? Tune in and find out!

PLUS —

• We explore a "broadside ballad" published in 1850: "The Sunday Trading Riot." In 1855, Sir Robert Grosvenor tried to pass a law forbidding anyone from buying or selling anything on Sundays — which were most people's only day off. A riot ensued in Hyde Park and a good time was had by all except Sir Robert Grosvenor ...

• We learn a few more Victorian "dad jokes" from good old Joe Miller!

Join host Finn J.D. John. for a one-hour-long spree through the scandal-sheets and story papers of old London! Grab a flicker of blue ruin, unload your stumps, and let's go!

EPISODE ART is from Varney the Vampyre, and shows Sir Francis Varney conducting his second interview with Flora Bannerworth.

GLOSSARY OF FLASH TERMS USED IN THIS EPISODE:

• Prime coves: Smart, well dressed men.
• Out-and-Outers: Exceptionally good sports.
• Knights of the Brush and Moon: Drunken fellows wandering amok by moonlight in fields and ditches, trying to stagger home.
• Chaffing-crib: A room where drinking and bantering are going on.

• Autem bawlers: Preachers, usually Puritan and other nonconformist Protestant evangelical ones.
• Tip your rags a gallop: Run away at top speed.
• Red waistcoat: Uniform apparel of the Bow-street Runners, an early London police force replaced by the New Model Police (who dressed in blue rather than red) in 1839.
• Gammoners: Swindlers or bullshitters.
• Romoners: Gammoners who pretend to have occult powers.
• Old St. Giles: The most famous slum parish of London, also called "The Holy Land"
• Dunwitch, Barony Of: A small estate in the hills West of Arkham, according to Colonial chronicler H.P. Lovecraft. Does not actually exist, but if it did, would be headed by Finn J.D. John, 18th Baron Dunwitch.
• Dunsany, Barony Of: A large estate in Ireland, including Dunsany Castle in County Meath, headed until 1957 by legendary fantasy author Edward J.M.D. Plunkett, 18th Baron Dunsany.
• Rum te tum with the chill off: Most emphatically excellent.