3 Common Thinking Mistakes Parents Make with Teens—and What to Do Instead

In this engaging episode of The Parenting Pair Podcast, Dr. Suzanne Allen and Dr. Annalise Caron explore common thinking traps—those unhelpful patterns of thought that can cloud our judgment, increase stress, and hinder positive interactions with our teens. They discuss how becoming aware of these traps and learning to shift our thinking can lead to more balanced, calm, and effective parenting.

Join us as we delve into:

• What thinking traps are, including the ‘shoulds,’ mental filters, and jumping to conclusions, and how they subtly influence our perceptions and reactions
• How these thought patterns can intensify worries, create misunderstandings, and impact our emotional well-being
• Practical strategies for parents to recognize and challenge these traps—using questions like “What else could be true?” to broaden perspective and reduce automatic negative thoughts
• The importance of self-compassion and gentle language shifts, such as replacing ‘shoulds’ with softer alternatives like ‘I wish’ or ‘prefer,’ to foster patience and understanding
• Tips for staying present and focused on the facts, especially during stressful or uncertain moments with your teen

Whether you're dealing with everyday frustrations or navigating complex issues, understanding and managing your thinking traps can help you respond with greater clarity, patience, and connection—strengthening your relationship with your teen and supporting your mental health.

Here are some highlights from the episode:

00:00 – Welcome: Are You Spiraling About Your Teen?

01:00 – What Are Thinking Traps & Why They Matter in Parenting

03:00 – Dr. Allen Catches a Thinking Trap in the Checkout Line

05:24 – Trap #1: “Should” Thinking – The Fast Track to Frustration for Parents

09:34 – Trap #2: Mental Filter – You Only See What’s Going Wrong for you or your Teen

16:26 – Trap #3: Jumping to Conclusions – From One Mistake to Worst-Case Scenario

20:23 – One Powerful Question to Reframe Your Thoughts and Open to New Possibilities

Tune in for practical insights and tools to cultivate a more mindful, balanced approach to parenting. And don’t forget to share this episode with fellow parents—because shifting our thoughts is key to building a calmer, more compassionate family life.