296. The Truth About Jealousy (And How It Shows You What You Want)

Jealousy is one of the most misunderstood emotions — and one of the most shamed. Most of us were never taught how to feel jealousy without turning it against ourselves or others.

In this episode, I unpack what jealousy actually is, why it hurts so much, and how it can either become a source of unnecessary suffering or a powerful source of self-awareness. We explore the difference between clean jealousy and dirty jealousy, how judgment gets layered on top of pain, and why jealousy isn’t a character flaw — it’s information.

This is an honest conversation about desire, disappointment, self-worth, and how learning to let jealousy stay clean can change the way you relate to yourself and others.

In This Episode, We Cover:

1. What jealousy actually is (and what it isn’t)
2. Why jealousy often feels so intense and painful
3. The difference between clean jealousy and dirty jealousy
4. How we turn jealousy into extra suffering through judgment
5. The two most common ways jealousy gets “dirty”
6. A personal story about trying out for Stampede Queen and what jealousy revealed in hindsight
7. How jealousy can lead to growth — or cause us to shrink
8. Why avoiding the clean pain of jealousy often keeps us stuck
9. How jealousy points directly to desire, longing, and possibility

Key Takeaway

Jealousy doesn’t mean something has gone wrong. It means you want something. When you stop judging yourself or others for that desire, jealousy becomes a clean signal — not a punishment.

Mentioned in This Episode

1. Clean pain vs. dirty pain
2. Desire as information, not a problem
3. Emotional honesty without self-abandonment
4. Using emotion as guidance instead of self-judgment

Work With Me

If this episode resonated and you want support applying this work to your real life, I’d love to talk with you.

I currently have space in my 1:1 coaching practice.

Book a discovery call here:

👉 https://amandahess.ca/book-a-call

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I’ll see you next week. 💛