284: 5 Things That Are Secretly Destroying Your Confidence with Nicole Kalil

In this episode of Life of And, Tiffany sits down with keynote speaker and author Nicole Kalil to discuss the real engine of confidence. It’s not the polished image or the applause, but firm, bold trust in yourself. Nicole shares the “confidence derailers” that quietly chip away at us (overthinking, perfectionism, comparison, people-pleasing, and external validation) and offers a practical path back to action and self-trust.

From navigating image, aging, and norms without losing authenticity to parenting confidence in a feedback-saturated world, this conversation is an honest look at how to build confidence that lasts, and what to do when achiever mode burns you out.

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What You’ll Learn:

• Why “firm, bold trust in self” beats external validation every time
• The five confidence derailers and how action becomes the antidote
• How to model and parent confidence without creating a validation dependency

Timestamps:
(00:00) Intro

(02:04) Nicole’s crash after “faking confidence”

(09:21) Defining confidence as firm self-trust

(16:21) The five derailers that chip away at confidence

(20:37) Why validation feels good but becomes addictive

(22:22) Navigating the line between authenticity and appearance

(29:06) How Nicole models and parents confidence at home

(34:11) What she’d add to Validation Is For Parking today

(35:32) Hard lessons from burning out on book promotion

(38:00) On achiever mode, scarcity thinking, and abundance

(41:11) Nicole’s podcast and workbook for building confidence

For more from Nicole, check out these links:

• Website: https://nicolekalil.com/
• Confidence Quiz & FREE 40+ Page Confidence Building Workbook: https://nicolekalil.com/confidencequiz
• This Is Woman's Work Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/this-is-womans-work-with-nicole-kalil/id1493225373 on Apple (or wherever you listen to podcasts)
• Validation Is For Parking Book: https://geni.us/ValidationIsForParking
• LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/nicolekalil
• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/nicolemkalil/
  
  

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Created in partnership with Share Your Genius