#264 Healing After Control: Trauma, Consent, and Intimacy (with Leah Carey)

In this episode of #mensexpleasure, I speak again with Leah Carey—sex and relationship coach based in the US who specializes in supporting people recovering from high-control or narcissistic abuse backgrounds. This time, we explore how trauma impacts intimacy, consent, and sexual connection. She explains how constant stress and lack of autonomy in childhood wire the brain for hypervigilance and fear, reducing creative problem-solving and shaping long-term challenges in relationships. We discuss why common self-care practices like meditation or journaling can be triggering for survivors, and explore trauma-sensitive alternatives that feel safer and more accessible. Leah also unpacks the complexities of intimacy and consent for those with trauma histories, including people-pleasing tendencies, blurred boundaries, and strategies for cultivating safe, pleasurable experiences. A deeply compassionate dialogue on recovery, autonomy, and reclaiming intimacy after control.

Key Points

@ 4:36 Impact of trauma on brain development

@ 12:27 Challenges with common self-care practices

@ 18:37 Navigating intimacy and consent

@ 50:59 Recap and resources

Relevant Links

Leah Carey Website: www.leahcarey.com

Leah’s Substack: https://xoleahcarey.substack.com/

Leah Carey Instagram: @goodgirlstalk