228. Are We Accidentally Making Anxiety Worse by Reassuring?

Kids and teens don’t struggle because they feel anxious — they struggle because they believe they can’t handle uncertainty. In this episode of Overpowering Emotions, Dr. Caroline breaks down one of the most overlooked skills in anxiety treatment: learning how to sit with not knowing.

Drawing from real clinical moments, classroom realities, and everyday parenting struggles, this episode walks through how reassurance, predictability, and “just checking” can quietly keep anxiety running the show. You’ll hear practical ways to help children stay in the moment even when outcomes feel scary — from separation anxiety and perfectionism to social worries and OCD.

After listening to this episode, lleave with concrete ideas that actually work: behavioural experiments, playful practice, language shifts, and debrief questions that build confidence without chasing calm. This is an episode about raising brave kids who can move forward even when nothing feels guaranteed.

Homework Ideas to Support Kids & Teens

• Delay answers on purpose

Acknowledge questions without providing certainty. Use: “That’s a good question — what do you think?”

• Set short, clear uncertainty challenges

Stay in a room for five minutes without checking. Wait before asking. Leave a question unanswered.

• Use playful unknowns

Mystery lunches, dice-decided choices, surprise plans, cliffhangers in stories or shows.

• Practise language swaps
• “I can handle not knowing yet.”
• “I want to know, but I can wait.”
• “This feels hard, and I’m okay.”
• Debrief after every practice

Ask about effort, not outcomes. What helped? What was harder than expected? What surprised you?

Helpful resources:

• Timer or visual countdown
• Notebook or scrapbook for “I didn’t know, and I handled it” moments
• Age-appropriate riddles or puzzles
• List of values-based goals the child cares about

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Want to learn more about helping kids strengthen their emotion regulation skills and problem-solving brains while boosting their confidence, independence, and resilience? Check out my many training opportunities! https://drcarolinebuzanko.com/upcoming-events/