227. What If Emotional Regulation Starts With Discomfort, Not Comfort

Big emotions don’t shrink by talking about them. They shrink through practice.In this episode of Overpowering Emotions, Dr. Caroline shares playful, practical distress-tolerance activities that help children and teens stay with discomfort without exploding, avoiding, or shutting down. From ice cube challenges to boredom practice, rule-changing games, and urge-surfing exercises, this episode shows how to train the brain to stay online when emotions spike. Designed for classrooms, therapy rooms, and families at home, these tools help kids learn that discomfort rises, shifts, and passes — and that they can handle it.Homework IdeasThese activities work best when adults join in. Keep them brief. Stay curious. Talk about what shows up.Ice Cube HoldHold an ice cube and notice the sensations as they change. The goal isn’t endurance — it’s staying present until it melts.Ask: “What did your body want to do?” “Did the feeling stay the same?”Silent Sound ChallengeSit quietly and listen for small sounds around you. Notice boredom, restlessness, or wandering thoughts without fixing them.Ask: “What showed up when things got quiet?” “What urge did you notice?”Sour Candy or Lemon BiteLet the sour hit. Stay with it as the intensity fades.Ask: “How long did the strongest part last?” “How is this like big emotions?”Still-as-a-StatueStay in one position and notice urges to move, scratch, or quit.Ask: “What urge was hardest to ignore?” “What happened when you didn’t act on it?”Itchy Nose / Ride the UrgeNotice an itch or urge without giving in. Watch it rise and pass.Ask: “Did the urge change over time?” “When else do urges feel like this?”Rule-Change GamesChange the rules halfway through a game and watch what comes up.Ask: “What feeling showed up when things changed?” “What helped you keep going?”Delayed Gratification PracticeWait between episodes, treats, or rewards. Sit with the wanting.Ask: “What did waiting feel like?” “What helped you handle it?”Urge TimerSet a short timer and sit with an urge without acting. Slowly increase time.Ask: “What helped you stay?” “What would you try again?”One Rule for All HomeworkKeep it short (3–5 minutes). Do it together. Always link it back:“What did you do here that could help next time something feels hard?”Enjoying the show? Help out by rating this podcast on Apple to help others get access to this information too! apple.co/3ysFijh Follow Dr. Caroline YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@dr.carolinebuzankoIG: https://www.instagram.com/dr.carolinebuzanko/ LinkedIn: https://ca.linkedin.com/in/dr-caroline-buzankoFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/DrCarolineBuzanko/Website: https://drcarolinebuzanko.com/Resources: https://drcarolinebuzanko.com/resources/articles-child-resilience-well-being-psychology/ Business inquiries: https://korupsychology.ca/contact-us/Want to learn more about helping kids strengthen their emotion regulation skills and problem-solving brains while boosting their confidence, independence, and resilience? Check out my many training opportunities! https://drcarolinebuzanko.com/upcoming-events/