215. Are we accidentally teaching kids to stay afraid?

This week, Dr. Caroline unpacks one of the most misunderstood parts of emotion regulation: Why avoidance keeps anxiety alive and how real-world experience rewires the emotional brain.

She explains how children’s brains constantly make predictions about safety, danger, and comfort and how avoidance traps them in cycles of fear. Using clear metaphors like the feeling tunnel and the prediction error, Dr. Caroline shows how growth only happens when kids face uncomfortable emotions long enough for their brains to learn something new.

This episode is a must-listen for anyone who want to help kids build resilience, emotional flexibility, and distress tolerance through practice, not protection.

🎧 Experience teaches the brain it can handle more than it fears.

Homework Ideas

Map the Avoidance Loop

Have kids write down situations they avoid (tests, sleepovers, speaking in class). Note what relief they feel after avoiding and how that pattern repeats. Awareness is step one.

Prediction Journal

Before a challenging event, ask: “What do you think will happen?”

Afterward: “What actually happened?”

Compare their predictions with outcomes to build realistic expectations.

Build Micro-Exposure Moments

Start small — ordering food, saying hi to a neighbour, or raising a hand in class. Celebrate effort, not comfort.

Self-Check for Adults

Notice when you rescue too quickly. Ask yourself: “Am I helping them build resilience or just helping myself feel less anxious?”

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Want to learn more about helping kids strengthen their emotion regulation skills and problem-solving brains while boosting their confidence, independence, and resilience? Check out my many training opportunities! https://drcarolinebuzanko.com/upcoming-events/