210. Not Your Good Girl with Kristi Straw

Growing up in the Midwest during the 1980s, Kristi Straw was raised with traditional values of being the quiet, grateful “good girl," don’t speak too boldly, and never outshine others. Alongside this mandate to be humble and accommodating came the classic Midwestern lessons in kindness, like let others go first at an intersection, and cook a pot roast for the new neighbors.

But lurking underneath the surface was an undercurrent of self-diminishment. These expectations and beliefs would be both barriers and fuel for Kristi's eventual rise in the corporate world.

Leaning into relentless drive and adaptability, she climbed from individual contributor to bank president and C-suite executive in just a few years. But behind the impressive title and substantial paycheck was a steadily growing sense of inauthenticity. She describes years of “chameleonizing” or masking her true self to fit an environment that wasn’t built for her bold ideas, her height, or her emerging leadership voice.

Ultimately, her success required constant shape-shifting and sacrificing parts of herself, a survival tactic rooted in childhood messages about what women “should” be.

Everything came to a head when, after finally reaching the top, Kristi realized three hours into her dream job that she simply couldn’t conform anymore. She found herself lying on her office floor with the stark realization that this life was no longer "fine." The money, status, and access couldn't mask the fundamental misalignment between who she was becoming and who she wanted to be.

That raw acknowledgment sparked her greatest pivot yet. Now, Kristi is fiercely committed to building communities based on authentic connection, collaboration, and high standards of integrity. As a coach and author, she champions what she calls “psychological agility,” aka the ability to adapt, stay open to surprise, and continually learn regardless of the outcome.

I suspect you’ll relate to her story of realizing that sometimes the most successful-looking life is in fact the one that's keeping you furthest from your true potential. And that no matter what, you have to find the courage to break the rules that never fit you in the first place.

Kristi's Hype Song

All I Do is Win https://youtu.be/GGXzlRoNtHU?si=9dwag_ZqVPmTJhgV

Resources

1. Website: www.LighthouseLeadershipConsultants.com
2. LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kstrawmba/
3. Instagram: @LighthouseLeadershipConsultant

Invitation from Lori:

This episode is sponsored by Zen Rabbit. Smart leaders know trust is the backbone of a thriving workplace, and in today’s hybrid whirlwind, it doesn’t grow from quarterly updates or the occasional Slack ping. It grows from steady, human communication.

Plenty of companies think they’re doing great because they host all-staff meetings, keep “open door” policies, and throw the occasional team-building event. Meanwhile, leaders who truly care about culture are choosing better tools.

That’s where I come in. Forward-thinking organizations bring me in to create internal podcasts that connect people through real stories,