208: Writing as Healing: Harper A. Bailey on Ancestors, Rituals, and Reclaiming Your Narrative

In this inspiring episode, I sit down with Harper A. Bailey (the pen name of Teosha Bailey), a public health leader, speaker, and author of the powerful new memoir It Was Her. Harper shares the deeply personal and spiritual journey of bringing her book to life, a process she describes as a "co-creation with God and my ancestors."

We discuss how the idea for her memoir came to her four years ago as a "God idea," and how a vivid dream on her birthday finally pushed her to commit to writing it. Harper opens up about the vulnerability of sharing her story, particularly the heavy first chapter about her mother's transition, and the writer's block she had to overcome. She reveals her unique writing process, which included creating a sacred shrine with photos of her ancestors, using music and scents to set the mood, and dedicating time for writing retreats around the world, from Hawaii to Rome.

Our conversation also touches on the healing power of storytelling within families. Harper shares how her book has sparked profound conversations with her son, aunt, and cousins, allowing them to see her in a new light and uncover hidden family histories. We explore the concept of "self-mothering" through the creative process, the importance of celebrating small milestones (like hitting word counts with ice cream!), and the profound realization that wholeness is our birthright.

You'll also hear about:

1. (03:52) The vivid dream that finally pushed Harper to write her book after being stuck for a year and a half .
2. (04:14) How Harper gifted herself a writing retreat at a hotel and left with a complete outline for her memoir .
3. (07:59) Her "YOLO Mother's Days" tradition: traveling to Rome with her aunts instead of doing the traditional "pancakes and construction paper" routine .
4. (15:37) The detailed "shrine" Harper created for her writing sessions, featuring photos of her ancestors to remind her she wasn't alone .
5. (18:10) Using the four elements (earth, air, fire, water) and sensory details like music and incense to create a sacred writing space .
6. (26:37) How her book has opened up new dialogues with her family, including her son realizing what she was going through as a mother .
7. (29:59) Harper's core message for readers: "Wholeness is your birthright," and you have the power to reclaim your narrative .
8. (41:20) Her definition of "Rewrite the Mother Code": being authentically who you are, mothering in any season, and learning how you want to be mothered yourself .

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Learn more about Harper A. Bailey

1. Buy her memoir, It Was Her
2. Follow Harper on Instagram
3. Learn more about Harper on her