Grab your best Prada knapsacks, dolls, because we’re venturing into a minefield of one of Adventures in Odyssey’s notoriously ableist and tone-deaf multiparters this week as we discuss THE PERFECT WITNESS, PART 1. There is SO MUCH to discuss about this episode (which is technically horrifying but is mostly just stiletto-snappingly dull), such as what U.S. president you should pretend to be if you want to survive your kidnapping, the wide-ranging diversity of Campbell County’s dirt, and gay uncles.

Today, we're bringing you a very special and timely Christmas episode that includes a lot of orgasmic moaning from Mary Barclay. Also, Eugene and Katrina crank up the spice, which is cute. And if you didn't get it, it's funny that we're putting out a Christmas episode on Easter...when it doubles as 4/20. THIS IS A FUNNY PODCAST OK

NEVER JUDGE A BOOK BY ITS COVER (unless you want to), and that's why we're unpacking this episode of Adventures in Odyssey so we can judge it harshly but with full knowledge. Today, Katrina yells and it's hot, Jack paints himself nude, and Pigeon says the word "beatitooties."

WHIT IS STILL GONE!!!!!! And everyone is so sad!!!!! Well, we're not, but Connie and Scrub are, and we're honoring their journey today as we discuss the Adventures in Odyssey episode "dot dot dot But Not Forgotten." Jack (confirmed weirdo) teaches Tom to masturbate, Harlow Doyle makes his first appearance on the poddy, and we talk about celebrity couples you kinda forgot about (including an AIO connection!). Aaaand we learn a really important lesson about how if you're sad, jesus wants you to decide not to be because you think he's so hot.

DING DONG THE WHIT-CH IS DEAD! That's right, Parsnip and Pigeon kick John Avery Whittaker out of Odyssey as they discuss the Adventures in Odyssey episode"Gone..." Also, there's bath chat, Eisenhower chat, crying chat, Mandy Moore chat, and boob chat.

Lauryn, aka Peach, is back with the girlies (Pigeon and Parsnip, that is; Percy is still dead or whatever) to discuss the second part of THE FIFTH HOUSE ON THE LEFT. You want a longer description? Too bad. Percy is trapped in a burning pile of rubble or whatever, so who else is going to do it?

IT'S HOLLYWOOD, BABY! This week, the gals dump Percy and bring on Lauryn Carlton, aka Peach, from the Worthy of Note podcast to discuss THE FIFTH HOUSE ON THE LEFT, PART 1. The tea is hot today, ladies, because Eugene and Bernard get to talk about bimbos and tramps. Doesn't sound like content appropriate for Adventures in Odyssey? Well, Pauly Pocket McCusker disagrees, so.

Ok you know the drill. We’re going to talk about an Adventures in Odyssey episode. This week, it’s IT HAPPENED AT FOUR CORNERS. Is there a reason you INSIST that I always write something in this podcast description box?!? Would you unsubscribe if I didn’t write something here? Would you still be able to look your loved ones in the eye? Are you blind when you’re born? Can you see in the dark? Dare you look at a king? Would you sit on his throne? Can you say of your bite that it’s worse than your bark? Are you cock of the walk when you’re walking alone?

Other discussion topics include:-Because Jellicles are and Jellicles do
-Jellicles do and Jellicles would
-Jellicles would and Jellicles can
-Jellicles can and Jellicles do