195. Harsh Words, Big Feelings: What’s Really Going on with the Anxious

Lit AF Relationships podcast is your resource for creating healthy relationships full of love, trust, safety, and respect.

Ever been on the receiving end of a sudden outburst from your anxious preoccupied partner? Or maybe you are the one who panics and lashes out when you feel someone pulling away?

Here’s the deal: It’s not about anger—it’s about fear.

When someone with an anxious preoccupied attachment feels rejected or senses abandonment, their nervous system goes into panic mode. The thought of losing connection feels like life or death, and in that desperation, they might use harsh language, lash out, say things they don’t mean, or even reject someone’s bid for attention before they can be rejected first.

The work is about rewiring their fear of abandonment and expanding their emotional tolerance for discomfort—without self-sabotaging.

Let’s break it all down in this episode. Tune in.

Discover your attachment style to break free from old relationship patterns. Take the free quiz here: https://quiz.tryinteract.com/#/6329f75e6dd9410016a64043

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If you’re interested in one-on-one or couples coaching I’d love to help you heal old patterns to create healthy relationships where you feel like you’re on the same team. Get started by applying for a free 60-minute healthy relationships call here: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSddL3tie849uvgD1m31l4MAH3AzH0FlWgnsG0gPEBEzeDyPyg/viewform