194: When Relationships Start to Drain You—Using Discernment to Stay Connected Without Losing Yourself

Connection matters deeply — and yet for many of us, it’s never felt more confusing. In this solo episode, Dr. Alison explores the tension many people are navigating right now: how to stay open and loving toward others without losing clarity, discernment, or yourself. Many of us were taught that love means endless accommodation, that boundaries are unkind, or that distance equals failure. Others, weary of being hurt, find themselves pulling back — unsure how to stay connected without feeling drained or unsafe. This episode sits right in the middle of that tension. Rather than offering formulas or quick fixes, Dr. Alison invites listeners to slow down and notice what’s happening beneath the surface of relationships — especially the ones that feel confusing, heavy, or hard to interpret. If you’ve found yourself asking: How do I stay loving without losing myself? How do I know when to lean in — and when to pause? What does discernment look like in real, imperfect relationships? This conversation creates space to reflect without pressure to decide everything right away. More Resources: 📥 Download 3 free chapters + guided journal of I Shouldn’t Feel This Way and the FRAME exercise mentioned in today's episode here. If you liked this episode, then you’ll love the following: Episode 191: The 5 Most Important Things I've Learned About Faith, Attachment, & The Inner Life Episode 179: Building Wise Trust - How to Protect Your Heart Without Closing it Off 📖 Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here 💬 Got a question? Call 307-429-2525 and leave a message for a future episode. Don't forget to browse this week's sponsors, who makes it possible for me to bring you these resources for free + provide you with additional discounts! Quince - Refresh your wardrobe with my favorite, effortless, and sustainable capsule clothing essentials. Go to ⁠Quince.com/bestofyou⁠ for 365-day returns, plus free shipping on your order! Caraway - Save even more on non-toxic cookware and get an additional 10% off your order when you visit Carawayhome.com/BESTOFYOU or use code BESTOFYOU at checkout. AirDoctor - Eliminate 99.9% contaminants in your home with AirDoctor by visiting AirDoctorPro.com and use promo code BESTOFYOU to get UP TO $300 off today! Remi - Start sleeping better with a Remi nightguard and use code BESTOFYOU and get 50% off your purchase. Go to ShopRemi.com/BESTOFYOU and use code BESTOFYOU. *Some of the links above are Amazon affiliate links. If you choose to purchase through them, I may earn a small commission at no extra cost to you. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ © 2025 Alison Cook. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. Please do not copy or share the contents of this webpage or transcript without permission from the author. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices