188. Communication Skills Self-Assessment

When conversations feel fragile or emotionally charged, it can be hard to know where to begin. This episode offers a steady starting point through what Alejandra calls a communication checkup—an annual checkup that invites self-assessment around how you speak, listen, and repair within the relationships that matter most. Rather than chasing vague goals, you can set yourself up for success when you are aware of your specific needs. Alejandra introduces eight foundational communication skills that help listeners uncover patterns to be aware of, including staying silent to avoid discomfort, overexplaining for protection, or pulling away when tension rises. The focus stays on understanding what happens internally during challenging moments and how small shifts in attention can create more choice. What changes when listening comes from presence rather than preparation? How does emotional safety influence disagreement? Where might appreciation ease tension before resentment takes hold? The episode also broadens the lens beyond individual relationships. Communication teaches others how connection works in real time. Children notice how disagreement is handled. Colleagues observe how feedback is offered. Each interaction becomes part of a larger culture shaped by everyday choices. You are invited to explore communication as a living practice grounded in values, awareness, and care; one that begins by noticing what to understand more deeply, where attention can support steadier conversations, and how to take steps that lead to transformation. Quotes “If you're serious about transformation, you first need to assess your communication capacity and know exactly where you stand.” (02:45 | Alejandra Siroka)“Compassionate understanding means recognizing these patterns without shame or blame or guilt, just with curiosity and kindness.” (08:19 | Alejandra Siroka)“Deep and meaningful relationships have strengthened after conflicts, after disagreements, mistakes, hurts, and misunderstandings.” (19:10 | Alejandra Siroka)“The research is clear. It's not whether couples fight that predicts relationship success. It's how they repair.” (19:20 | Alejandra Siroka)“What you say now is a model of relatedness for others. The way you communicate with your closest people is the way you're impacting the whole world and the future.” (20:19 | Alejandra Siroka) Links Language Alchemy Episode 136: https://www.languagealchemy.com/podcasts/language-alchemy-podcast/episodes/2148547407 Language Alchemy Episode 137: https://www.languagealchemy.com/podcasts/language-alchemy-podcast/episodes/2148560398 To leave a review on Apple Podcasts, click: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-language-alchemy-podcast/id1576461366 To leave a review on Spotify, click: https://open.spotify.com/show/5yTj9hSotq8EAjPCYg2jYw?si=aQNuoStRQomTNUKHGSD56A&nd=1&dlsi=064dcb42ba8d4706 To work with Alejandra, visit: www.languagealchemy.com/workwithme To join the Language Alchemy mailing list, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/mailinglist To ask questions you'd like Alejandra to answer in the podcast, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/podcastquestion To find out about 1:1 transformative communication coaching with Alejandra, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/oneonone To find out about couple transformative communication coaching with Alejandra, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/couples To schedule a reduced-rate coaching consultation with Alejandra, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/newclient To follow Alejandra on instagram follow @languagealchemy Podcast Music composed by Gary Lapow: open.spotify.com/artist/1HlMhcNfKIELxYil5mVqD Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm