187. Divorce Help. When the Other Side Won’t Respond: Motions to Compel, Subpoenas, and Strategy

When your divorce is dragging because the other side won’t respond, it can feel like psychological warfare—especially when kids and money are on the line. In this episode, Morgan Stogsdill and Andrea Rappaport break down what’s actually happening when a divorce case stalls, how to tell the difference between normal delays and strategic stalling, and what to do next.

You’ll learn the practical legal steps attorneys use to create structure—like mediation deadlines, motions to compel, subpoenas, depositions, and discovery strategies—plus the mindset shifts that keep you from spiraling and spending thousands of dollars reacting emotionally. Bottom line: when the time is right, get aggressive—because talk is cheap.

Stalling is one of the most common (and most infuriating) divorce experiences, and it happens for a few big reasons:

1. They don’t have their shit together (missing documents, incomplete financials, no affidavit, disorganized life)
2. They think you’ll panic and settle cheap just to end the pain
3. It’s a power play (silence = control, especially with high-conflict people)
4. Their attorney is overwhelmed, under-resourced, or occasionally strategic (timing money events like bonuses, etc.)

The good news: stalling isn’t a dead end. It’s a problem that can be solved with structure, strategy, and sometimes court pressure.

The First Question to Ask Your Lawyer

Before you go scorched earth, ask this exact question:

“Is this delay normal… or is this strategic stalling?”

Morgan explains that a good attorney can often tell you:

1. whether the other lawyer is just chronically slow/unorganized, or
2. whether the other side is intentionally dragging things out to wear you down.

These two scenarios require totally different responses.

What Judges Respond To: Structure + Deadlines

Stalled cases usually move when there’s something real on the calendar:

1. court dates
2. motion hearings
3. trial dates
4. mediations with firm deadlines

Morgan’s most practical advice:

If nothing is moving, push for a trial date. Even if the first date doesn’t “stick,” a real end date creates pressure—and pressure creates movement.

Action Steps: What You Can Do When the Other Side Won’t Respond1) Stop guessing. Get clarity.

Tell your attorney you’re frustrated and ask:

1. Is this normal?
2. What’s the standard timeline in this jurisdiction?
3. What steps do we take in order if they don’t comply?
4. At what point do we file something?

This helps you avoid spending money “going aggressive” too early… only for the judge to give them another two...