181. Not Ready to File for Divorce? What to Do Instead

How to prepare, protect yourself, and move forward without rushing

This episode is especially helpful if you’re searching for:

1. How to prepare for divorce without filing
2. Emotional separation before divorce
3. How to survive the holidays before divorce
4. What is a silent divorce?
5. How to tell your spouse you want a divorce (but not yet)
6. Divorce timing strategy
7. How to protect kids during separation

If you’re quietly planning your next chapter, this one is for you.

In this episode of How Not to Suck at Divorce, Morgan Stogsdill and Andrea Rappaport dive deep into the concept of the silent divorce: the unofficial, emotional separation that happens when one or both partners know the marriage is ending, but they're not ready to officially file yet.

If you're feeling emotionally checked out, unsure of timing, scared of disrupting the holidays, or stuck in a “limbo marriage,” this episode helps you understand what a silent divorce is, the signs you're in one, and most importantly : what to DO about it.

Andrea and Morgan break down two scenarios:

1️⃣ When both spouses know divorce is coming but are waiting.

2️⃣ When only one spouse knows, and the other has no idea.

You’ll hear practical guidance, emotional support, and legal strategy to help you prepare without panicking, protect your kids, and avoid major divorce mistakes.

Plus, you’ll hear hysterical QuickBooks chaos, psychic readings on Oak Street, and a glamorous side quest to the Waldorf Astoria. Classic HNTSAD energy.

What You’ll Learn in This Episode:✔ What a “silent divorce” actually is

How emotional withdrawal and parallel living become the early stage of divorce long before filing papers.

✔ Signs you’re in a silent divorce

– Minimal communication

– Loss of intimacy

– Roommate vibes

– Emotional loneliness

– Avoidance of conflict

– No partnership energy

✔ If both partners know divorce is coming

Do this:

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3. Keep things predictable
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7. Set temporary boundaries (separate bedrooms, shared spaces, routines)
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11. Treat this time as preparation, not limbo