180. The Most Powerful Divorce Negotiation Tool You’re Not Using

Why strategy, not emotion, wins negotiations.

Emotions don’t win in divorce court — facts and strategy do. In this episode of How Not to Suck at Divorce, divorce attorney Morgan Stogsdill and comedian-turned-divorce-advocate Andrea Rappaport walk you through how to negotiate your divorce like a pro using their THINK framework:

1. T – Take the emotion out of it
2. H – Have realistic non-negotiables
3. I – Identify their pain points
4. N – Negotiate from facts, not feelings
5. K – Keep your BATNA in mind (your best backup plan)

If the idea of mediation, settlement conferences, or sitting across from your ex makes you want to hide in a hole, this episode is your game plan. You’ll learn how to work with your lawyer instead of against them, what’s actually realistic to ask for, how to use what you know about your ex as legal leverage, and why clinging to your emotions can cost you big money, time, and sanity.

Whether you’re just starting your divorce, heading into mediation, or trying to wrap up a long, exhausting case, this episode will help you stay out of court if possible, save money, and make smarter decisions for you and your kids.

In This Episode, We Cover:

1. Why “facts win” in divorce
2. How emotions spiral, stories get twisted, and why judges and mediators care about documents, numbers, and timelines — not drama.
3. T = Take the emotion out of it
4. Andrea’s “Ziploc bag and freeze your feelings like a 2018 pot roast” strategy
5. How to notice when you’re triggered in mediation (hello, Brenda and Chad)
6. What to say to your lawyer when you’re about to lose it — and when to zip it and let them speak for you
7. H = Have realistic non-negotiables
8. The difference between must-haves and nice-to-haves
9. Why “I want 100% custody” usually isn’t realistic
10. How to decide which holidays, financial terms, or parenting provisions are truly non-negotiable
11. Morgan’s example of a client who refused to accept any end date on maintenance — and why that was realistic in her case
12. I = Identify their pain points
13. How to “play detective” and figure out what your ex really cares about (ego, money, reputation, time with kids, a specific property, etc.)