177: The #1 Fear of People Pleasers Part 1: Fear of Abandonment

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When we live in fear that others will abandon us, we often end up abandoning ourselves.

In this episode of Inner Work with MaryAnn Walker, we’re exploring the #1 fear of people pleasers: the fear of abandonment. This is part one of a two-part series where we’ll uncover how this fear develops, how it shows up in relationships, and—most importantly—how it leads to chronic self-abandonment.

If you’ve ever caught yourself silencing your needs, over-giving to prove your worth, or staying in unhealthy relationships just to avoid being alone, you’ll see yourself in this conversation. And you’ll begin to understand why these patterns leave you feeling more disconnected and unloved than ever before.

What You’ll Learn in This Episode

• Why fear of abandonment is the root fear behind people-pleasing.
• How past experiences—like conditional love or emotional neglect—train us to equate being alone with rejection.
• The painful cycle: fear of abandonment → people-pleasing → self-abandonment.
• 5 common self-abandoning behaviors that stem from fear of abandonment:
  • Overgiving in hopes of proving your worth.
  • Avoiding conflict to keep others happy, even at the cost of your truth.
  • Taking responsibility for other people’s emotions while neglecting your own.
  • Staying too long in unhealthy or toxic relationships out of fear of being alone.
  • Downplaying your needs to make yourself “easier to love.”
• Why these strategies create the illusion of connection but actually deepen disconnection and loneliness.

Challenge for the Week
Pay attention to the moments when you silence yourself, minimize your needs, or overextend to keep someone close. Ask: Am I abandoning myself right now out of fear that they might abandon me?

Work With Me

If you’re ready to stop people-pleasing and start building authentic relationships rooted in love and mutual care, I’d love to support you. Email me now at [e-mail] to check for availability.

Don’t Forget to Subscribe

Be sure to subscribe to Inner Work with MaryAnn Walker so you don’t miss next week’s episode, where we’ll explore how to shift out of fear and start cultivating relationships based on love, safety, and authenticity.

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