168. The Tragic Murder of Matthew Rairdon & Domestic Violence in the Queer Community

On November 30, 2013, in Portland, Maine, police discovered the bodies of two men inside an apartment near Deering Oaks Park. One of them was 22-year-old Matthew Rairdon, a graduate student and aspiring educator. The other was Patrick Milliner, his former partner. What initially appeared to be an isolated tragedy soon revealed a devastating case of intimate partner violence that unfolded quietly—without police reports, restraining orders, or public warning signs.

In this episode, we examine the documented relationship between Rairdon and Milliner, the weeks leading up to their breakup, and the final hours before the murder-suicide. Using police records, court findings, and contemporaneous reporting, we trace the investigation, the unanswered questions, and the systemic failures that left friends and family grappling with how this could have happened. Above all, this episode centers Matthew Rairdon—his life, his future, and the loss that reshaped a community—while confronting the uncomfortable reality that not all violence announces itself before it strikes.

You are Not Alone, Help is avaiable if you or someone you know is experiencing DV. Please visit the website below for more details.

https://www.dvafoundation.org/

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