168: Am I A Jerk Now? How to Set Boundaries Without Becoming the Villain

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If you've ever wondered, “Am I being too harsh?” or “Will people still love me if I stop people-pleasing?”—this episode is for you. Today, we're talking about the fear that setting boundaries means you're suddenly a terrible person. (Spoiler alert: you're not.) Whether you've swung from self-sacrificing to "spicy:" or you’re just learning how to say "no" without guilt, we’re unpacking why this discomfort is actually a sign of growth, not failure.

What You’ll Learn in This Episode

• Why helpers and people-pleasers often fear becoming "the bad guy"
• The real reason boundary setting can feel so uncomfortable at first
• How burnout can lead to sharper tones and what to do about it
• Why overcorrecting is normal (and not permanent!)
• How to self-assess your boundaries without shame
• Examples of clear, respectful boundary statements
• Why disruption is part of healing—and how to ride the wave

Challenge for the Week
Practice one boundary this week—even if it’s wobbly. Then take 5 minutes to self-assess. Ask yourself:

• What went well?
• What could I improve next time?
• Did I lead with clarity or frustration?
• How was my tone?
• Did I communicate through clarity or emotional confusion?

No shame. Just curiosity and growth.

Work With Me
Tired of feeling burned out and invisible? Ready to start being someone for yourself? Let’s build those boundaries—without burning bridges. I currently have a few one-on-one coaching spots available this month. You can schedule a free 20-minute consultation call here to see if we’re a good fit. I’d love to support you in reclaiming your time, your peace, and your power.

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