166. How to Pause Before Reacting to Your Teen or Young Adult Kid

You’ve probably found yourself reacting before you even realize what’s happening countless times. I certainly have. Those fast, heated moments, when your blood boils, your breath shortens, and everything speeds up, can feel impossible to stop. And before you know it, you’re in a reactive back-and-forth with your teen or young adult kid. But what if things could go differently?

In this episode, Seth and I talk about one of my favorite parenting tools of all time: learning how to pause before reacting to your teen. We explore what that pause actually looks like, why it’s so hard to find in the moment, and how creating just a few seconds of space can completely shift the dynamic between you and your child.

You’ll hear us unpack real-life examples, the physical signs that you’re getting pulled into a pattern, and the ways you can practice slowing things down, even when emotions run high.

In this episode on how to pause before reacting to your teen, we discuss:

• The physical and emotional cues that signal you’re getting reactive;
• How to recognize your triggers and slow the momentum;
• Simple tools to create a “pause” in the heat of the moment;
• What to say (and what not to say) when things get tense between you and your teen;
• How a famous Viktor Frankl quote guides my parenting every day, and could do the same for you;
• And more!

Looking for support?

🗺️Need help setting healthy boundaries with your teen AND following through? My free guide will help you do so by creating your own Parent Home Plan!

🤍Influence lasting change in yourself and your struggling teen with my private coaching or parent group program specifically created for parents of struggling teens.

Have a question or need support? You can email me at [e-mail]

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And remember parents, the change begins with us.

✨ Free 4-week workshop for parents of teens and young adults: Stop Enabling & Start Supporting — Your Young Adult in 2026.

Hosted by Not Therapy (former “troubled teens” turned coaches who’ve supported 70+ teens/YAs) and parent coach Beth Hillman.

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