16. Does My Trauma Make Me A Bad Parent?

What if feeling your emotions meant risking everything that keeps you safe?

In this episode, Stephen joins Helen to explore the collapse of his coping systems after becoming a father. As a neurodivergent parent living with autism and ADHD, Stephen reflects on how the unpredictability of raising a toddler has triggered early patterns of fear, control, and emotional self-protection. He speaks openly about growing up in an environment where feelings were unsafe, religion was weaponised, and perfection was the only path to acceptance.

Together, they explore the dissociative gap between knowing and feeling, the shame of not being able to access emotions, and the fear that if he lets go, everything will fall apart. Helen gently invites Stephen to consider what it might cost to feel more deeply, and what it might make possible. This is a powerful conversation about emotional impermanence, parenting after trauma, and the slow work of learning to trust yourself when no one ever taught you how.

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