143: Why Men Seem Avoidant & Lessons About Male Shame

This week, I'm joined by Christina Lane to talk about something that keeps so many of us stuck: what happens when love has hurt us so deeply that our bodies literally can't tell the difference between intimacy and danger anymore. We explored how triggers aren't proof that something's wrong with us; they're actually invitations for deeper connection if we know how to work with them. Christina shared why men aren't actually "avoidant" (they're just terrified in a different way than we are), how sitting in discomfort beats solution-hunting every time, and what it really takes to rebuild safety after betrayal. ✨ Topics Covered ➡️ Why love is inherently painful and how to get comfortable with emotional discomfort ➡️ The real reason men shut down (and why labeling them "avoidant" makes everything worse) ➡️ How to tell the difference between a present-moment trigger and an old wound replaying ➡️ Co-creating safety through somatic rituals instead of perpetual compromise ➡️ Why your body, not your mind, gets the final say on whether intimacy feels safe again ———————————————————————— Love Note From Becky Aste: Here’s the replay link for UNSPOKEN! https://tinyurl.com/BeckyAsteUNSPOKEN I’d love to hear from you! Dm me "PODCAST" on Instagram and I’ll send you a free training that pairs perfectly with this episode 💬 ➡️ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠instagram.com/becky_aste⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Want to learn more about working with Becky? Book a call with her right here: [⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://calendly.com/beckyaste/60min⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠] Would rather stalk before we talk? No judgement here ;) Here’s my website!➡️ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.idobreakthrough.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ XO Huge Hugs - Becky ———————————————————————— ➡️ Connect with Christina Lane 🔗 Christina Lane is a Somatic Embodiment Coach and educator whose work centers around nervous-system regulation, emotional safety, and embodied intimacy. Through her coaching containers, group programs, and membership community, she helps individuals reconnect with their bodies, unlearn survival responses, and create relationships rooted in safety instead of fear. Her mission is to help people experience love and connection not by performing or people-pleasing, but by coming home to themselves, where safety, desire, and authenticity can coexist. Website: www.christinalanecoaching.com Instagram: instagram.com/christinalanecoaching/ Medium: https://medium.com/@christinalanecoaching/