123: The Therapist as a Tool: Emotional Awareness, Boundaries, and Self-Care with Alyssa Scarano

In this deeply reflective episode of A Simple Therapy Podcast, Sindee Gozansky sits down with Alyssa Scarano to talk about what it really means to care for ourselves while doing emotionally demanding work.

While Alyssa's background in family therapy shaped her clinical lens, this conversation goes far beyond technique. Together, Sindee and Alyssa explore how a therapist's internal emotional experience — the frustration, ache, exhaustion, or even invisibility felt after a session — can become valuable information rather than something to push away.

Alyssa shares a pivotal supervision moment that reframed her understanding of countertransference and helped her see that the emotions we carry out of session are often signals asking for attention, care, or boundaries. They discuss how therapists can learn to sit with emotion without absorbing it, and why ignoring our internal world is one of the fastest paths to burnout.

This episode also offers a grounded, realistic reframe of self-care — not as spa days or perfection, but as discernment, listening to the body, and responding to what truly restores us. Alyssa opens up about what self-care looks like in her own life as a clinician, business owner, parent, and human, including how her yoga practice has evolved into something quieter, more internal, and deeply sustaining.

If you're a therapist feeling emotionally spent, blurred at the edges, or unsure how to keep showing up without losing yourself, this conversation offers permission, language, and reassurance: your emotions are not a liability — they're part of the work.

In this episode, we explore:

• Using your emotional experience as clinical information rather than self-judgment

• How feeling "invisible" or ineffective in session can reveal important relational dynamics

• The difference between empathy and emotional over-identification
  
  

• Recognizing when something feels "sticky" or achy — and what that means for self-care

• Why self-care is about discernment, boundaries, and listening to your body

• How therapists can stay emotionally present without burning out

• Small, realistic first steps for bringing emotional awareness into your work

• Why supervision and personal reflection are essential for sustainability

03:56 - From "Never Doing Family Therapy" to Falling in Love with It

08:20 - How to Track Family Dynamics: Seating, Body Language, and Roles

16:28 - The Invisible Session: A Supervision Moment That Changed Everything

22:06 - What Is Your Emotion Trying to Tell You?

28:58 - The Stickiness and the Ache: Knowing When It's Yours vs. Theirs

36:49 - Alyssa and Her Yoga: What Self-Care Actually Looks Like

40:42 - First Steps for Bringing Emotional Awareness Into the Room

44:23 - Where to Find Alyssa and The Collective Therapy and Wellness​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​

Check out Berries:

https://heyberries.com/heart-centered
Use Discount Code: Sindee50 for $50 off your first month

Shop Mental Health Threads:
https://mentalhealththreads.etsy.com

Connect with Alyssa Scarano:

Collective Therapy & Wellness

Instagram (@live.collective.wellness)

Facebook

LinkedIn | Alyssa Scarano

Connect with Sindee Gozansky:

Visit my website: asimpletherapypodcast.com/

Join the Heart-Centered Therapist Community FB group: facebook.com/groups/478651669638167

Instagram: 
instagram.com/heartcenteredtherapist/

YouTube: youtube.com/@asimpletherapypodcast

LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/sindeegozansky/

Want to be a guest on the podcast?

Email Sindee: [e-mail]