11 | The Hidden Shame Keeping Christian Women from God's Love

What if your "character flaws" were actually brilliant survival strategies? Maybe you've been looking at your people-pleasing, perfectionism, or emotional sensitivity and thinking, "Something is really wrong with me." Maybe you carry quiet shame about the ways you learned to cope, believing they prove you're selfish, manipulative, or fundamentally flawed. But what if you weren't bad - you were surviving? And what if you were brilliant at it? Today we're exploring the truth that could heal one of religious trauma's deepest wounds: your survival patterns aren't evidence of your badness - they're evidence of your brilliance. Episode Description If you've been carrying shame about your survival patterns, believing they prove something is fundamentally wrong with you, this episode will revolutionize how you see your story. Today we're healing the devastating "I'm Bad" barrier by discovering the truth that changes everything: you weren't bad - you were a brilliant survivor. Through Tekyia's powerful story of transformation from shame-driven faith to love-driven relationship with God, we'll explore how God-given gifts like sensitivity, intelligence, and compassion get repurposed as survival tools when trauma occurs. You'll learn the difference between the "shame lens" that sees character flaws and the "wisdom lens" that recognizes brilliant adaptation. Most importantly, you'll discover how to reclaim your gifts from survival mode and use them for their original purpose - not just surviving, but thriving. This isn't about excusing harmful patterns, but about recognizing the wisdom in your survival so you can transform it into authentic living. You'll walk away understanding that your sensitivity is a superpower, your intelligence is a gift, and your compassion is exactly what the world needs - not despite your survival patterns, but because of the brilliance that created them. In this episode, you'll discover: → The revolutionary difference between the "shame lens" and "wisdom lens" - and how it transforms your entire self-perception → Why your people-pleasing, perfectionism, and hypervigilance were actually God-given gifts being used brilliantly for survival → How religious trauma teaches us to see our natural gifts as dangerous, forcing them into survival mode → The "survival pattern appreciation" practice that helps you recognize your brilliance instead of your brokenness → Practical steps to reclaim your gifts for thriving instead of just surviving - moving from defensive to authentic living Healing Truth You are not a collection of character flaws that need fixing. You are a brilliant survivor with God-given gifts that got repurposed for survival when life wasn't safe. Those gifts - your sensitivity, your intelligence, your compassion - they were never the problem. They're your superpowers waiting to be reclaimed. You weren't bad. You were surviving. And you were brilliant at it. 🎧 Ready to go deeper? Discover your personal healing path: Take our free Religious Trauma Assessment at ReligiousTraumaQuiz.com and uncover which of the 12 hidden barriers might be shaping your relationship with God, yourself, and others. You'll receive a personalized report plus my complete Essentials Starter Kit - including my book He Is Enough, Truth Over Tradition mini-course, live reading circles, and access to our supportive community - all completely FREE as my thank you for taking this brave step. Transform your story completely: Join the Coming Home Journey at TheComingHomeJourney.com - a six-month guided experience to reclaim your God-given gifts from survival mode and learn to use them for thriving. Discover that what you've been calling brokenness was actually brilliance. About Debra I'm Debra Shafer, spiritual healing coach for Christian women and founder of the Healing Religious Trauma Circle. For over seven years, I've walked alongside women who've been taught to see their God-given gifts as character flaws. I know this transformation personally - I've learned to see my own survival patterns as brilliant adaptations - and I've witnessed what happens when women discover they were never the problem: they finally see themselves as God sees them. Listener Love If this episode helped you see your survival patterns as brilliant rather than broken, would you share it with someone who needs this reframe? And a quick review on Apple Podcasts helps more women discover they were never as bad as they believed - they were brilliant survivors whose gifts are waiting to be reclaimed. This isn't surface-level faith advice. It's soul-level restoration for Christian women healing from religious trauma who long for inner peace, spiritual healing, and the ability to trust God completely. Through addressing generational trauma and nurturing true connection, we help you experience God's love in the deepest way. Strengthen your relationship with a safe, loving God.