#107 - How to Change Systems Without Shaming People

What do you do when something important is broken—but the people behind it are doing their best?

In this episode, Jen is preparing to talk to a reporter about a youth program she deeply supports—and is deeply frustrated with. She wants change. She wants honesty. But she doesn’t want to shame or vilify the people running the program.

Together, we explore how to speak truth to systemic breakdowns with clarity, compassion, and courage. You’ll hear us move through raw anger, heartfelt grief, and into honest, values-aligned language that invites collaboration instead of defensiveness.

If you’ve ever tried to advocate for change without becoming the villain—or longed to tell the truth without betraying your heart—this conversation is for you.

In this episode:

•How to speak publicly about system failures without turning people into enemies

•The vital role of anger, grief, and heartbreak in values-based leadership

•How to stay self-connected when preparing to give hard feedback

•Scripts and language tools for telling the truth with dignity

•The emotional intelligence needed to shift from blame to collaboration

•How to transform outrage into a relational invitation for change

•What to do when both sides of the conflict are hurting and hopeful

If you're looking for a high caliber small group where you can deepen your practice and really live into the principles of compassion, non-violence and relational presence, apply for The Mentorship Circle, which will begin November 2nd. It will be three hours every month of advanced teaching, deep discussion, and practical integration. Learn more here.

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