#104 - How Can I Get My Therapist to Understand Me?

In this episode, I coach a listener named Julia who feels dismissed after bringing up a difficult experience in therapy. Her therapist tried to normalize it by offering logic instead of empathy and now Julia’s wondering how to bring it up without creating conflict or being misunderstood again.

Together, we explore:

•How to ask for more empathy in therapy (without blaming or shaming)

•What it means when a therapist skips emotional attunement

•A gentle script you can use when therapy feels misaligned

•What to do if your therapist can’t or won’t meet you where you are

If you’ve ever walked away from therapy feeling more alone than connected, this episode offers tools, language, and hope.

Stay till the end for a practical how-to guide on navigating these tough moments. Because asking for what you need in therapy is often the most healing work you’ll ever do.

In this episode:

• [02:00] How do I tell my therapist she didn’t really hear me?
• [04:00] The difference between empathy and normalization
• [07:00] When therapists fix too fast, and why it hurts
• [09:00] A script to name misattunement without escalation
• [12:00] How the therapy relationship becomes the real work
• [14:00] Post-session how-to guide: 6 steps to naming what’s not working in

If you're looking for a high caliber small group where you can deepen your practice and really live into the principles of compassion, non-violence and relational presence, apply for The Mentorship Circle, which will begin November 2nd. It will be three hours every month of advanced teaching, deep discussion, and practical integration. Learn more here.

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