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Score: 7.4

Huntr/x’s Golden arrives like a motivational poster you’d find hanging in a gym bathroom, but set to a synth line that sounds vaguely like it was borrowed from a video game character’s redemption arc. It’s a song that insists on optimism with the ferocity of a Labrador that’s just discovered a tennis ball.

Musically, Golden shuffles between indie-pop earnestness and Spotify algorithm-friendly polish. There’s enough reverb to make you think the band recorded it inside an abandoned cathedral, and a beat that wouldn’t feel out of place on a Peloton playlist called “Empowerment Vibes Vol. 3.” The lyrics are all about light, resilience, and that vague sense of self-actualisation you get after buying overpriced crystals from a weekend market.

Where the track succeeds is in its sheer audacity to believe in something. Huntr/x doesn’t just tell you life can be Golden; they practically kick down your door and hand you a scented candle to prove it. It’s aspirational music, but aspirational in the way a suburban vision board is: sincere, slightly chaotic, and maybe exactly what you need at 2 a.m.

Best moment: when the chorus drops and you briefly believe you might, in fact, be the main character.
Worst moment: the realisation that you’re listening to earbuds you bought off Wish.

Final verdict: not quite solid gold, but definitely gold-plated — shiny enough to keep you dancing until you start questioning your life choices.

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Score: 8.1

In 2006, Petra Marklund, better known by her Europop nom de guerre September, released Cry for You, a track that felt less like a song and more like a government-mandated vaccination against sadness. Somewhere between a breakup anthem and an IKEA flat-pack instruction manual for melancholy, the Swedish queen of cry-while-dancing gifted the world a chorus that managed to be both nihilistic and euphoric, like Robyn if she’d been trapped inside a Ministry of Sound compilation CD for three months.

“Cry for You” is built on a trance-lite backbone that sounds like it was engineered specifically for provincial nightclubs where the carpet is sticky and the smoking area is just a bench. Lyrically, September delivers existential devastation with all the emotion of someone reading out loud from a bus timetable — and that’s exactly why it works. Her stoicism turns heartache into a communal ritual: we’re not crying for him, we’re crying for ourselves, for 2000s fashion, for the tragic return of shutter shades.

Pitchfork has long maintained that pop music is at its best when it convinces you that your heartbreak is part of a collective European experience. Cry for You achieves this in under four minutes, which is more than you can say for most PhD theses on postmodern ennui.

Is it high art? No. But like all essential dancefloor classics, it turns personal despair into a group hug where everyone smells vaguely of Jägerbombs.

Best moment: the chorus, which sounds like the soundtrack to every MySpace breakup ever.
Worst moment: realising you actually did cry for him.

Final verdict: September gave us the perfect reminder that tears and glitter coexist. And sometimes, that’s enough.

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We want to give a shout-out to a brand new podcast from a friend of the show: Moose On The Loose.

If you love the unfiltered chaos of 1001 Songs That Make You Want To Die, you’ll want to add this to your list. It’s funny, it’s wild, and it’s worth your time.

👉 Search Moose On The Loose wherever you get your podcasts and hit follow/subscribe to support a mate of the pod.

https://open.spotify.com/show/2uCopui2iToh9B8t7elKXf?si=1d67a2030ea948b7

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