078: You’re Brave at Work but Cowardly at Home: The Silent Way Men Destroy Their Families

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Connect with Ben:
Website: https://www.lovingonpurpose.com/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/benserpell/?hl=en

In this episode of Next Third Best Third, I sit down with my friend, minister, and husband and father, Ben Serpell from Sacramento, California. We unpack a struggle that so many men face but rarely name out loud: moving from being passive and disengaged to becoming powerful, present, and emotionally safe for the people we love most. Ben shares candidly about early marriage, kids, and how “checking out” at home felt easier than facing hard conversations with his wife and children.

Together, we talk about where passivity starts, why fear and self-protection masquerade as humility, and how anger is often just fear in disguise. We hit on fatherhood, marriage, emotional intelligence, and what it really means to provide — not just financially, but by creating safety, connection, and room for mistakes in our homes. We also dive into personality wiring, self-awareness tools like StrengthsFinder, and why learning to truly listen can change your marriage, your relationship with your kids, and your friendships.

We finish by talking about brotherhood, covenant friendships, and investing in your own health so that your life doesn’t stall out in the middle. Ben shares from his Dragon Slayers men’s group, I share from my own story of divorce, bankruptcy, and rebuilding, and we frame what it means to be a powerful, honorable man who brings wealth (not neediness) into every relationship. If you’re a man in your “next third” of life who’s tired of passivity, fear, and isolation, this conversation will challenge you to step into wholeness so your next third really can become your best third. If this resonates, hit like, drop a comment, subscribe, and share it with a man who needs this.

Chapters:
00:00 - Welcome to Next Third Best Third & introducing Ben
01:20 - Early marriage, young kids & how passivity sneaks in
03:24 - Bull rider story: brave in the arena, terrified at home
06:15 - Self-awareness, wiring & why our differences feel threatening
10:52 - When anger is actually fear (and how men shut down)
12:49 - Redefining “provider” as emotional safety, not just money
19:02 - Fear, failure, bankruptcy & trying to stay in control
20:01 - Becoming the best listener in the room (not the fixer)
26:03 - Dragon Slayers, brotherhood & covenant-minded men
34:32 - Investing in yourself so your next third is your best third

Welcome to Next Third Best Third! Join us for the inaugural episode of the Next Third Best Third podcast! Host David Fenwick, founder, author, and life coach, introduces the mission to inspire men over 40 to thrive in the next stage of life. Discover how to conquer life's challenges across physical, mental, relational, spiritual, and emotional dimensions. In this episode, David shares insights on:

- Physical Health: Strategies for maintaining fitness and vitality as you age.
- Mental Resilience: Techniques to stay mentally sharp and manage stress.
- Relational Growth: Building and nurturing meaningful relationships.
- Spiritual Fulfillment: Finding purpose and deeper spiritual connections.
- Emotional Well-being: Managing emotions and fostering a positive outlook.

Don't miss out on this journey towards making the next third of your life the best third!

Website: (https://www.nextthirdbestthird.com/)