029 - What Do I Actually Feel?

This episode is part of a series where we answer your questions.

Today's question:

"I grew up in a house where 'emotions' meant you either yelled or you left. Now I'm in my 30s trying to figure out what I actually feel, but the words don't come. I freeze - total shut down. I feel like I don't have the vocabulary or the skills to maintain relationships in a healthy way. I feel like I need a course on 'Feelings 101' because I never got the starter kit."

To address this question, Lora and Jeff discuss the complexities of emotions, particularly focusing on individuals who struggle with emotional expression due to their upbringing. We discuss the importance of understanding and articulating feelings, the impact of emotional shutdown, and ways to become more comfortable putting words to your emotions. Vulnerability and self-awareness are key components in our emotional landscapes, and can help us improve our interpersonal connections.

We discuss:

- Emotional shutdown can stem from childhood experiences.

- Building emotional vocabulary is essential for healthy relationships.

- Emotions are often misunderstood and require attunement.

- Practicing self-awareness can help in recognizing emotions.

- Vulnerability is crucial in expressing feelings to others.

- Emotions are transient and can be processed without storytelling.

- Using tools like a feelings wheel can aid in emotional expression.

- It's important to approach emotions with compassion and curiosity.

- Understanding the relational nature of emotions can enhance connections.

- Deconstructing familial patterns can lead to personal growth.

Want to join the conversation?

If you've got something you'd like us to unpack - big or small - send it our way. Your curiosity fuels these conversations.

Connect with So What Who Cares

Email: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠[e-mail]⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

YouTube: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@sowhatwhocarespodcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@sowhatwhocarespodcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Facebook: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠So What Who Cares Podcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

TikTok: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@sowhatwhocarespodcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Find Lora McCarville at: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.loramccarville.com/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Chapters

00:00 Introduction and Listener Engagement

02:04 Understanding Emotional Shutdown

04:43 Navigating Emotions and Relationships

09:05 The Nature of Emotions

12:39 Challenging Personal Narratives

16:36 Building Emotional Vocabulary and Vulnerability