02: The Profile of a Perpetuator with Denis Marier and John Conlon

Denis Marier welcomes you to the second episode of Groomed, a podcast for male survivors of childhood grooming and sexual abuse, and their loved ones.

 

In this episode, Denis and John discuss how Denis started to fear his predator in highschool and the onset of the grooming behavior,  how boundaries became blurred as he spent more and more time alone with him, confiding and even gradually starting to trust in him.

 

Key Takeaways:

[2:40] “A boy always has to be masculine and like girls.”

[5:20] Denis shares about the experience of coming to highschool.

[9:17] Becoming part of the student council.

[14:10] Denis and John talk about the perpetrator, a teacher, and how he conducted himself at the school back in the ‘80s.

[16:25] Inappropriate jokes and behaviors started to become noticeable.

[19:15] Denis talks about how the grooming started.

[21:50] Denis remembers the confessions with the priest who he first talked about his doubts in regards to his sexuality.

[25:44] Denis began to confide in this teacher in many ways.

[26:36] Denis talks about how his relationship with his father started to become more debilitated and how simultaneously the bond with his predator became stronger.

[29:15] Denis shares about the time he was caught by his mother with a girl in his house when they were supposed to be at school.

[33:44] Rumors started to spread about this teacher’s behavior with students.

[35:18] Denis talks about how in grade 11 he started to spend more and more time together with the teacher.

[36:35] Denis shares how he started drinking alcohol and cutting himself.

[40:55] Denis talks about how this teacher began to give him presents.

[43:23] In the next episode, Denis and John talk about the day that everything changed.

 

Mentioned in this Episode: 

Groomed Podcast

Groomed on Facebook

Groomed on Twitter 

 

Canada Suicide Prevention Services

Victim Services Ontario

Support Services for Male Survivors of Sexual Abuse program 

 

Tweetable and Quotes:

“He took me to all these fancy places and he always paid.” @groomedpodcast

“Alcohol became the way not to feel the confusion.” @groomedpodcast

“Healing happens the moment we feel heard.” @groomedpodcast