The Ultimate Guide on How to Remain Attached to Your Ex After Divorce

De: Darlene Zagata

Narrado por: Virtual Voice

Welcome to the Rest of Your Life (Which Inexplicably Still Involves Them)

Congratulations! You're divorced! The papers are signed, the lawyers have been paid their obscene fees, and you're officially free to start your new life as a single person. The judge said you're no longer legally bound to each other. Your friends are throwing you a "freedom party." Everyone keeps using words like "closure" and "moving on" and "healthy boundaries."

But here's the thing: you didn't really want a divorce. Or maybe you did want the divorce, but you don't want the actual *separation* part. Or perhaps you're just so used to being in each other's business that the idea of NOT knowing what they had for lunch today feels like a personal attack.

Whatever your situation, you've come to the right place.

This book is for those special individuals who heard "till death do us part" and thought, "Cool, so we're good forever." It's for the people who believe that just because you're no longer married doesn't mean you can't still have keys to their house, access to their bank account, and intimate knowledge of their daily schedule.

You've discovered something that divorce lawyers don't want you to know: divorce is technically just a piece of paper. It's not a forcefield. It doesn't physically prevent you from calling them seventeen times before noon. It doesn't stop you from driving by their new apartment "just to make sure they're okay." And it certainly doesn't mean you have to stop having opinions about their life choices.

In this comprehensive guide, you'll learn:

How to interpret "please leave me alone" as "please try harder"

Advanced techniques for showing up unannounced

Why boundaries are really just suggestions

How to maintain joint custody of streaming accounts, favorite restaurants, and mutual friends

The art of texting as if nothing has changed

And so much more!

Some might call this behavior "unhealthy." Some might use words like "stalking" or "harassment" or "please stop, I'm calling the police." But those people clearly don't understand the depth of your commitment to never, ever moving on.

So grab a cup of coffee (or wine, let's be real), settle in, and prepare to learn how to make "ex" mean "extremely present in their life forever and ever, amen."

Welcome to the ultimate guide for people who believe that divorce is just marriage with more steps.