The Returning

A Trader's Case for Consciousness

You've achieved the things you were supposed to achieve. So why does something still feel missing? A Wall Street veteran investigates what thirty years of pattern recognition revealed.

You've built the career. Hit the numbers. Checked the boxes.

So why does something still feel missing?

After thirty years on Wall Street trading derivatives at Morgan Stanley, Merrill Lynch, and Standard Chartered, I thought I understood how to read patterns. Markets. Risk. What drives human behavior.

Then I started asking different questions—and found something I wasn't looking for.

Why does consciousness exist at all? Why do near-death experiencers across every culture report strikingly similar things? Why do ancient traditions separated by oceans describe the same framework? And what would any of this mean for how we actually live?

THE RETURNING presents a possibility: that individual consciousness deploys from something larger, explores what can only be explored from a limited perspective, and eventually returns—carrying everything it discovered back to the whole.

The ocean, temporarily experiencing itself as a wave.

This is not a spiritual manifesto. It's an investigation. I don't ask you to believe it. I ask you to consider whether the pattern fits the data.

Inside:

• The near-death experience research that changed a skeptic's mind—and what it suggests about what awaits
• A practical framework for finding authentic direction (not vision boards, not affirmations—actual navigation)
• How to tell the difference between genuine guidance and fear dressed up as intuition
• An honest reckoning with suffering, evil, and the questions this framework cannot answer
• What the "hard problem" of consciousness means—and why materialist science keeps hitting the same wall

Who this is for:

The analytical mind that dismissed spiritual questions as soft. The achiever who suspects the game they've been winning might not be the only game. Anyone who wants to go deeper without checking their intellect at the door.

I'm not a guru. I'm a pattern recognition system that started pointing at different data.

The returning is not about going somewhere else. It's about waking up to what was always true.