The Bathroom Oracle

Terrible Wisdom from the Porcelain Throne

Are you spiritually constipated? Emotionally bloated? Mentally circling the drain? The Bathroom Oracle is here to help... sort of.

This is not your typical bathroom book. There are no cute animal facts. No trivia quizzes. No Sudoku. What you’ll find instead are pages full of dark humor, brutal honesty, and unsolicited advice from a voice that sounds suspiciously like your inner critic—if your inner critic was well-read, deeply cynical, and possibly possessed by a sarcastic gremlin.

With bite-sized affirmations, psychological slap-fests, unsolicited life tips, and existential crisis breaks, this book is perfect for those sacred few minutes when you’re alone with your thoughts... and desperately trying to avoid them.

Whether you're hiding from your responsibilities or just waiting for the flush to finish, The Bathroom Oracle offers comfort, clarity, and the occasional emotional wedgie.

You won’t walk away enlightened—but you will feel seen, judged, and weirdly validated. Sit down. Let go. And listen to the Oracle.