Soothe

True Stories of Healing from Anxiety, Depression, PTSD, and Generational Trauma Through Spiritual Awakening

I found my sister's body in January.

My father's liver failed in 2022, and I watched the cancer meds kill him on a slow burn. My Uncle Troy drank himself to death. My mom quit her career and got on meth. And somewhere between finding my sister and burying my dad, I discovered something that felt like winning the lottery inside my own chest—a peace so complete that if I took my last breath right then, my life was finished in every imaginable sense. Perfect. Nothing left over. Nothing missing.

It was a cellular knowing that nothing could ever be added or taken away from reality. That everything in every moment was exactly as it needed to be. Even the pain. Even the suffering. Even when it didn't always feel like it. I didn't need the clothes on my back or one more healing breakthrough or answer. I wasn't cured. I was whole. Like I'd been searching for the truth the whole time, realizing I was the embodiment of it all along.

Here's what nobody tells you about childhood trauma and complex PTSD: The healing journey itself can become the trap. The endless triggers and new wounds that make you think you're back at square one. The anxiety that returns. The depression that won't lift. The generational pain that feels like it's in your DNA. You're on a treadmill of trauma recovery, convincing yourself the finish line exists somewhere out there, and the goalposts keep moving.

SOOTHE isn't another mental health protocol or self-help system. It's what happened when the bottom fell out and I stopped trying to fix what was never broken. This memoir holds twelve stories from my life—grief, loss, PTSD, the whole catastrophe—and each one is designed to point you toward the unbroken wholeness already within you. Not as a concept. As recognition.

I know what you're thinking: if I stop trying to heal, won't I just sink deeper? That's the fear that keeps you running. But trauma healing isn't found in more effort. It's found in seeing what effort has been covering up.

Consciousness might sound abstract, but it's more real, more immediate, and more permanent than any thought, feeling, emotion, or perception you've ever had. It's like the opposite of every purchase you've ever made trying to feel complete. You stop needing to scratch that itch that always comes back. The dissatisfaction with reality as it is just ends. Not because reality changed. Because you finally see what was already here.

Here's how Osho describes it:

"It is so vast, and all your experiences are irrelevant to it. Your whole past is irrelevant to it. All your hopes for the future are irrelevant to it. It is something you had never hoped for. It is something you had not even imagined of. It is something you had not even dreamt."

For you if: You're exhausted from healing that never ends and ready to see what's underneath it all.

Not for you if: You want clinical tools or step-by-step protocols. This is spiritual awakening through lived trauma.

Start reading SOOTHE tonight. Stop running. You're already home.