Showbiz!

My Life as a Middle-Aged Man

De: Murray Hill

In his powerful debut memoir, beloved comedian Murray Hill (Somebody, Somewhere) opens up for the first time about how a painful past led to an unwavering commitment to spread joy—one rimshot at a time.

For more than three decades, Murray Hill has been a staple of New York City’s downtown comedy scene. A trailblazing comic in a borrowed tux, the self-proclaimed “hardest working middle-aged man in show business” has turned feminist performance art into a way of life, delighting audiences around the world with his signature blend of campy humor and subversive showmanship. Much like Fred Rococo, his breakout role on HBO’s award-winning Somebody, Somewhere, Murray radiates relentless positivity and an indomitable spirit as entertaining as it is inspiring.

But behind the one-liners lies a deeper truth. Growing up in a conservative, Catholic household where abuse ran rampant and silence reigned supreme, Murray took refuge in showbiz memoirs and old-school comedians. He found hope reading about tales of survival in the face of abuse and discrimination, and in the glamorous world of old-school entertainment he saw the life-saving possibility of reinvention.

In adulthood, humor—and booze—became tools for survival, Murray went to college in Boston and graduate school in New York, where he began the slow process of coming into his own as a newly emancipated adult, a queer artist testing the boundaries of visual and performance art, and a nightlife king living by the mantra: “If you don’t see yourself represented, go out and represent yourself.”

The depression he masked with alcohol eventually spiraled into a mental health crisis that nearly cost him his life. It was only when his friends insisted he get help, and he made the painful decision to step away from the family that had nearly broken him, that he began to understand the power of chosen family. By confronting his past instead of running from it, he not only found his people, but finally found himself.

Showbiz! is the unflinchingly honest, darkly funny journey to becoming Murray Hill… Because when life hands you trauma, you turn it into a tight five.

That’s Showbiz!