Rabbit Heart

A Mother's Murder, a Daughter's Story

De: Kristine S. Ervin

Narrado por: Hillary Huber

A Washington Post “Most Anticipated” Book of the Year • A New York Times “Must Read”

For readers of My Dark Places and The Fact of a Body, a beautiful, brutal memoir documenting one woman’s search for identity alongside her family's decades-long quest to identify the two men who abducted—and murdered—her mother

"This graceful resulting memoir wrestles with failures of justice; the nuances of gendered violence; and the difficulty of making do when we are not whole."—Elle

Kristine S. Ervin was just eight years old when her mother, Kathy Sue Engle, was abducted from an Oklahoma mall parking lot and violently murdered in an oil field. First, there was grief. Then the desire to know: what happened to her, what she felt in her last terrible moments, and all she was before these acts of violence defined her life.

In her mother’s absence, Ervin tries to reconstruct a woman she can never fully grasp—from her own memory, from letters she uncovers, and from the stories of other family members. As more information about her mother's death comes to light, Ervin’s drive to know her mother only intensifies, winding into her own fraught adolescence. She reckons with contradictions of what a woman is allowed to be—a self beyond the roles of wife, mother, daughter, victim—what a “true” victim is supposed to look like, and, finally, how complicated and elusive justice can be.

Told fearlessly and poetically, Rabbit Heart weaves together themes of power, gender, and justice into a manifesto of grief and reclamation: our stories do not need to be simple to be true, and there is power in the telling.

©2024 Kristine S. Ervin (P)2024 Brilliance Publishing, Inc., all rights reserved.

Reseñas de la Crítica

"The author’s investigations of the concept of victimhood are insightful and urgent . . . Ervin laces the poetic text with unforgettable moments of startling, shattering honesty, many of which feel impossible to witness. This is the genius of the author’s prose and what makes this book remarkable: Ervin’s unflinchingly brutal gaze, combined with her insistence on facing the worst parts of her past, make it equally impossible for us to look away."—Kirkus Reviews (starred review)

"Poet and essayist Ervin grapples in her moving debut memoir with the emotional damage caused by a parent’s violent death . . . In lucid prose, Ervin unflinchingly documents her grief and untangles how her mother’s murder impacted myriad aspects of her life. This will haunt readers long after they’ve turned the last page."—Publishers Weekly

“There are some books that are written to avoid the brutality of the world and other books that capture with an uncanny clarity the inescapable truth. Kristine S. Ervin froze me in my tracks from the first page of her startling and transfixing memoir, a work fueled by a daughter’s undying love for her mother and a refusal to stay silent about violence. Rabbit Heart will stay with me forever.”—Michele Filgate, editor of What My Mother and I Don't Talk About

Mixed Experience

Ms. Ervin took risks in telling her story. I am sorry for the horrific, violent murder of her mother! I don’t underestimate what it might’ve taken to share such a personal story. I regret to say, it wasn’t the listen I hoped for. there were definitely some strengths but there was a fragmented quality to the narrative. I don’t know if that was intentional, it might’ve been a way to convey the quality of trauma. Also, that quality of fragmentation could be a way to show that some thing about the author’s mother was always out of reach. This is a moment in time when I receive information about the power of women differently than I did before the Dobbs Decision. I just didn’t find it to be paced with the reader in mind. There was a great deal of disclosure in the book. The listener gets insight into some very personal situations and painful ones at that. Still, disclosure and intimacy aren’t synonymous. The book conflates those conflates those qualities.

The author’s candor.

As an Oklahoman, I was a teen when this happened. As a reader of true crime books, documentaries, reports for decades before it became such a popular, albeit macabre interest, my experience is that the truest understanding of a crime and all its ripples, comes when I hear it from a living victim’s POV - from the perspective of a loved one left behind.

The author draws readers in by articulately and really sharing her life experiences and how they were impacted by her mother’s violent, torturous abduction, rape, & murder. I pray it was cathartic for her & wish to thank her for finding the words to convey her unabashedly shared truth. That could not have been an easy task.

I lost my oldest brother to murder, in Tulsa no less, when I was barely 17. His violent death colored my life as well. However, even if death hadn’t touched my life at such a young age, I believe I’d have still related to the author’s pain & poor decisions simply because she took me there, as a teen and as a woman. It is somehow comforting to know that I am not alone in my, often misguided & self-harming, life decisions. Thank you for entrusting readers with your story, your Mom’s story.

Powerful and Necessary

This is a necessary read for men. Period.

Read. To. The. Very. End.

Otherwise it will feel incomplete.

Truly

This is genuinely one of the most beautiful books I’ve ever read. The author has written about women’s bodies and their perception in society with a brutally honest, and much needed bluntness, not willing to skip over important details to make others feel “more comfortable”. She also manages to convey such a powerful statement in a beautifully poetic manner, that helps to show how greif truly is not linear. I would have been satisfied hearing her story alone, but her ability to weave her mother’s story into it, then finish the book with heartwarming closure was truly a piece of art.

Generational Trauma, Unpacked

This book is a tough listen. The author’s mother’s death is the starting point but it’s how that death reverberates through her family that is the more harrowing read.

Well written interesting story

I bought this because I love memoir and live in the same town as the university the author teaches at. You can tell she is an English professor as it is well written. I appreciated the honesty and the story was interesting. My only critique is that it was repetitive at points. Worthwhile listen.

Groundbreaking

I was drawn to the book, as my own mother was a victim of a vicious attack in 1965 (never solved). Consequently she died an untimely death when I was a teenager. I am now in my 70’s and play and replay scenes of my childhood. I was very surprised at the many parallels of this story and my own life. It took unbelievable courage to write a book like this. The author gave a voice to something that few can speak about. I really appreciate this book.

Started off strong ...

... but then became repetitive and drawn-out. This story could of been gripping and compelling if it had been told in half the time. The author, unfortunately, crossed this line--at least for me--of sounding like she was whining bc the last half of the book was seemingly an attempt to say the same thing (how much she hurt) using different words. For me, that dissipated and even normalized the brutality of the crime against her mother and the devastating effects on her life. I was not thrilled with the narrator's voice, but it wasn't bad enough to stop me from listening.

Poignant

The victim’s family journey is realistically told. The repercussions of crime on the survivors is not well understood by the public. It’s sad that criminals have carte blanch in many cases. And it’s sadder that crimes against women are often discounted.

Looong and Whiney

Interesting outline for a memoir. Definitely had potential but ends up being overly repetitive. I feel for the author but really, this narrative would have been better worked out with a solid therapist. Not that her vulnerability isn’t appreciated. It is. It’s just too long with the same message repeated over and over. So sorry for what happened to the author on multiple occasions with multiple perpetrators. Maybe better as a short form essay or article.