Not My Shame

A True Story

De: Sheila Rae Boyd

Narrado por: Virtual Voice

This is a true story . . . my true story . . . and my prayer is that it will bring comfort and hope to those who may be experiencing a similar one. I had married my childhood sweetheart, and I believed with all my heart we had a rare, “fairy tale” marriage, one that would endure the test of time. After almost 20 years of marriage, my husband tried to explain to me that he was bisexual, a pedophile, and a sexual predator and that, as a result, our children and I could be in grave danger. The signs had been there for years, but I didn’t understand them. People tried to warn me, but I did not take it seriously. It could have cost me my life! “Blessed be God, even the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies, and the God of all comfort; Who comforteth us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort them which are in any trouble, by the comfort wherewith we ourselves are comforted of God.” (2 Corinthians 2:3, 4)

He’s not a bisexual, he’s a twisted dangerous sociopath!

This poor woman! Whew! Yeah, she was naive - everyone is in the beginning. However, by writing it all out I think that makes her brave. Okay…First, I’m gay. That woman’s vile husband did nothing but lie to her. To me he seems like a he is a real sociopath. First, there is no “choice” about your sexuality. Why does everyone keep getting this so wrong? No one chooses to be gay. No one chooses to be straight. No one chooses to be any of the many shades of sexuality in between. You just are who you are. You are born that way. No choices after you’ve been born. Sorry. Also… There is no special cosmic rule that makes straight people better than gay people. Just like homosexual people are not any better than heterosexual people. No gay person I ever met was a monster like this woman’s husband. I think he is an extremely dangerous criminal . You are born gay or you are born straight. Sure, there is gray area, but there is no after-market decision. You are who you are …period. Now, when you try to follow someone else’s rules about sexuality and what they say is right or wrong… that’s when things get twisted. People get confused, and angry, and try to kill them selves because they think they don’t fit in. No child can be “converted” into being gay. There is No such thing as getting TURNED gay. Impossible. As a little gay boy I watched endless heterosexual tv shows, hetero TV movies, straight TV commercials, I read heterosexual books, every tale in literature & history is from a heterosexual perspective. All pop culture is basically about “boy meets girl”. All my life I’ve been endlessly swimming through heterosexual culture! Did it change me to be straight? No. Because it couldn’t ! It didn’t make me a heterosexual. Nothing could. It just made me feel like an out sider. It’s just like all the gay pride parades in the world won’t make a straight person gay. However, people’s rules, and dogma, and ideas of what is right and wrong, and how you should change your sexuality to be a better person those… impossible to follow rules, those can make people into monsters! It can twist their minds, it can make them think sex makes them evil or wrong… that’s when emotionally hurt folks end up killing themselves, or hiding, and lying, and keeping secrets. Plus, this is how the church creates these disastrous situations. Church dogma twists gay men into thinking they have to be a pastor or priest so maybe god will fix them. Instead, it probably places them as youth pastors taking teenaged boys to the YMCA. Stupid! Might as well put young men in charge of teenaged girls - hanging out in their locker rooms at the YWCA! Then the confused guy eventually breaks under temptation. Could be denial, could be self hatred, or could be a lot worse. Then the church is too embarrassed to let anyone know what happened on their watch, so they hush it up, and they move the overly tempted molester somewhere else - finding a new position for them probably as a religious youth pastor somewhere else and no-one is ever told what he did! It’s just a dumb idea thinking you are gonna change someone’s sexuality with temptation and secrets! The church shouldn’t be trying to fix people who need real help with this stuff - that is so completely backwards! That’s why these “sinful sexual rules” have NEVER worked, and never WILL work. Straight or gay. They will only create more situations where gay men who are in denial about being gay will be tempted until they emotionally break down and become molesters. On the other hand, I know many OUT gay men and not one is a child molester, and one who is married, to a woman who knows he is gay, and they have a big family and they have a nice loving relationship and great kids - they have terrific lives! The truth will set you free. Just quit twisting everything up with rules that are impossible to follow.

Good read even with digital audio

Makes you want to cry at the naivety of the wife. The nastiness of the husband in his behavior and how easily they can still be successful as pastors so antisocial
I wished it wasn’t a real story