I Will Ruin Your Life

The Invisible Scars of Narcissistic Abuse

De: Iman Elwan

Narrado por: Virtual Voice

In 2008, Iman Elwan, an American convert to Islam, moved to Cairo, Egypt, to pursue a new career as an English teacher. Shortly before moving, she met the man of her dreams – literally. But instead of a great new life with her Egyptian husband, she found herself subjected to verbal abuse amidst confusing behavior and mixed messages from the man she married.

By examining her marriage in retrospect, Iman walks us through the process of discovering what was wrong with her husband. This story provides the reader with a raw, honest account of what a marriage to an individual with a personality disorder is like. Iman guides readers through the stages that make up the vicious cycle of Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) Abuse relationships, including Love Bombing, Idealization, Devaluation, and Discard. She provides a first-hand look at the devastation and Post Traumatic Stress Disorder that continues to affect her even years after the abuse, including the reopening of old wounds from childhood abuse.
___________________________________________________________________________________________________

Reader comments:

"A harrowing and brutally honest tale of one woman’s fight to save her husband from his demons – without clear knowledge of the true battle she was facing. This is a difficult and often distressing read, with the author’s emotional rollercoaster of determination, pain and confusion clearly expressed on every page. Anyone who is or has ever been in any kind of abusive relationship, whether they knew it or not, will see parts of themselves in this story."
-S.F., Sydney, Australia

Frustrating

The story was fairly easy to follow. I did skip most of the dreams because I just wanted to get on with the momentum of the story. I found myself getting very stressed out over her planning to take a Rottweiler to Egypt with her, adopting another dog while she was there that she left this crazy Husband to look after when she traveled to the US. I was ready for something terrible to happen to those pets which, thank God, never did. And then her planning to go to Jordan for eight weeks when she didn’t have a pet sitter that she actually knew to rely on after her husband went MIA. I would’ve canceled the trip. Many of her decisions were so incredibly frustrating - as frustrating as her relationship with her narcissistic husband. The ending was extremely unsatisfying as I felt she knew the definition of her husband’s issue, but she had yet to learn the lessons so that she could move forward with more wisdom. It’s as if she learned nothing from this harrowing experience.

Bizarre

The book doesn’t flow. Author goes in and out of dreams and visions. This makes the story hard to follow. The dream sequences are too long.