I WISH I Had a NORMAL Mother

STAND-UP SATIRE

De: Ghenrietta Von BLOOME

Narrado por: Virtual Voice

Alright, you know how the saying goes: "Sharing is caring," right? Well, get ready because this story is a banger! It dives deep into the vault of my childhood memories, and trust me, it's a doozy. We all have those formative experiences that shape who we are, but mine... well, let's just say my mother took a slightly different approach to parenting. Instead of the stereotypical, overflowing-with-affection kind of motherly love, I drew the short straw and got myself a narcissist.

Think back to those moments of pure, unadulterated childhood pride. Remember that time you brought home a stellar report card, practically glowing with joy, ready to bask in some well-deserved praise? Yeah, my mother had a special, almost supernatural, ability to deflate those balloons faster than you can say "straight A's." Instead of, "Wow, honey, I'm so proud of you!" it was more like, "That's great, but why isn't that math grade higher?" or "Finally, you're living up to your potential." Yeah, thanks, Mom. That really boosted my self-esteem. Sarcasm intended, of course.

And hey, her "support" didn't end there! It was a constant stream of backhanded compliments and subtle digs disguised as constructive criticism. Who needs genuine encouragement anyway? It's definitely overrated, right? (Again, heavy on the sarcasm here!). Looking back, it felt like she was always competing with me, needing to be the smartest, the most accomplished, the center of attention, even in my own moments of triumph.

But it wasn't all doom and gloom, I swear! On the bright side, this unique upbringing forged in me an almost superhuman level of tolerance. I learned to pick myself up after every soul-crushing comment and to depend on my own internal validation. And, most importantly, I learned how to find humor in those ridiculous and, at times, undeniably sad situations. Because honestly, laughter is the only known antidote when dealing with narcissistic parents. It's either that or therapy, and sometimes a good laugh is just what the doctor ordered.

Heck, maybe after reading this story, you will appreciate your 'normal' mother after all! Or at least, you'll feel a little less alone if you've experienced something similar. Buckle up, because this is just the beginning of my tales from the narcissistic trenches... prepare for some seriously cringe-worthy, yet hopefully entertaining, moments!

STAND-UP COMEDY.