How to Win a Million Dollars and Beep Glitter

A Mostly True Misadventure

De: Luke Stoffel

Narrado por: Patrick Mealey

"The combination of memoir with a perceptive judgment of America’s often-empty vision of success is powerful." - Publisher’s Weekly / BookLife Prize (Score: 9.5 out of 10!)

How to Win a Million Dollars is a madcap, self-deprecating, laugh-out-loud, mostly true misadventure that takes listeners on an adventure through the wildly inventive, sometimes-questionable, but always entertaining schemes of a boy who would do anything to make it big.

Growing up as a gay Catholic schoolboy in a tiny Mississippi River town surrounded by cornfields, Luke’s imagination was constantly set on fire by million-dollar daydreams and DIY hustles. Whether it was hunting down the missing Cap’n Crunch or gaming McDonald’s Monopoly, no scheme was too ridiculous, no shortcut too far-fetched. With his trusty Hustler bike and a mountain of determination, Luke didn’t just dream—he plotted.

As Luke grew up, so did the schemes—evolving into a real-life Broadway Cinderella story (dirty hands and all), a stint as an artist in Paris, and even facing a curse from a vengeful Hawaiian goddess. Along the way, heartbreak lands him in a temple in Laos, a moment sets him on a path of self-reflection, transforming his chase for success into a journey of self-discovery.

With razor-sharp wit and heartfelt vulnerability, How to Win a Million Dollars explores the glittering highs and crushing lows of chasing the American Dream, in a world shaped by Reaganomics, dyslexia, and the crumbling façade of opportunity. From paperboy scams to going for broke in the App Store before an experimental spin with AI, it asks the profound question: Where do we end, and where does AI begin? This story is proof that while everything can fall apart at any moment, the journey—chaotic, messy, and wildly imperfect—is the real prize. And maybe, just maybe, there’s still a million-dollar dream out there, waiting to be won.

©2024 Cinderly, LLC (P)2025 Cinderly, LLC

Reseñas de la Crítica

"An exuberant life story written with humor, panache, and heart." -Kirkus Reviews

Couldn’t put it down

5+ hours straight, I truly couldn’t put it down. Having played some kind of part in many of Luke’s schemes I wasn’t sure what to expect from this one. Yet it may be my favorite one thus far as we know there will be more. His story telling was authentic and true to the “beautiful mess” that is Luke. I think I may even like him more now if that’s possible. It was funny, smart, relatable and emotionally raw. I loved it!

Fun, heartbreaking, and inspiring

This tale of a life in progress during the late stage capitalism is the perfect insight into the truth of the American Dream. The author has such a jovial and humorous manner, it is easy to sail right through without stopping. Enjoyed the narrator as well.

Suspend, funny, emotional.

This book was suspenseful. The beginning travelled back to the 1980s looking at consumerism through a kid’s eyes. It was also raw. Sometimes I had to stop listening I was so scared about this sweet kid being bullied for being different. Then when he wrote about one of his best friends dying, I could truly feel his pain. It was interesting listening to all the things this small town Boy accomplished after leaving Iowa. I highly recommend it.

Excellent performance! Great story.

Patrick Mealey delivers an excellent performance, bringing youthful vibrancy to the early chapters and tackling the emotional moments with warmth and compassion. His narration captures the eager determination of a young dreamer while adding just the right amount of grit. A fantastic listen from start to finish.

A “throw it on the wall and see what sticks” story.

The authors’ early million-dollar schemes with his sister had me in stitches. The book serves as an inspiring testament to the potential of an individual when they dedicate themselves to achieving their goals. It’s a rags-to-riches story of sorts, albeit one where the riches are personal growth and self-discovery.

love it

I highly recommend this book by Luke. It was a great story and proves you can anything even though you have disability like Dyslexia. I'm someone with dyslexia and I can relate to this story. let's help support Luke as an indie author. @Lucas Stoffel #influencerbook #indieauthors #bookcommunity #booktoker

A colorful coming of age story full of bravery and laughs!

I love this relatable read/listen! A colorful story full of bravery, creativity and laughs. I could feel the author in my heart like a best friend or partner talking to me about the trials and tribulations of dreams and realities.

Enjoyable

Great book, very enjoyable. Definitely a book to listen to again. The narrator does a great job. Overall excellent book to listen to.