Here I Am, As I AM

From Human Doing to Human Being

Here I Am, As I Am is a gentle yet deeply honest spiritual study about learning to live from being rather than doing. Written out of a lifetime of ministry, grief, caregiving, and quiet discovery, this book invites readers to step off the treadmill of performance and rediscover faith as presence.

The study begins with a simple, vulnerable question—“Can’t I just be?”—and God’s equally simple answer: “Yes—and I AM.” From that encounter unfolds a journey that reframes identity, worth, prayer, and spiritual growth. Rather than offering techniques for self-improvement, this book offers a posture: availability before achievement.

Across five carefully paced chapters, the reader is invited to explore:

• Being before doing as the ground of faith
• The subtle ways service and devotion can become compulsive
• Weakness, grief, and limitation as teachers rather than obstacles
• Embodied prayer and awareness as everyday spiritual practices
• Growth as becoming without hurry, held by God rather than managed by effort

Drawing from Scripture, pastoral experience, prison ministry, caregiving, and personal loss, the author writes not as an expert dispensing answers, but as a fellow pilgrim learning to stay present. Stories of Kairos prison ministry highlight the power of showing up—where presence restores dignity more deeply than solutions ever could.

At the heart of the study is a simple breath prayer that gathers everything the book seeks to teach:

Here I am.

As I am.

Repeated gently, this prayer becomes a way of restraining judgment, deepening awareness, and receiving God’s nearness in ordinary moments. Readers are encouraged not to rush, fix, or explain themselves—but to notice, to breathe, and to trust God’s pace.

Each chapter includes Scripture, teaching, meditation, reflection, poetry, questions, prayer, and a practical “Smithy’s Forge” exercise—designed not to push growth, but to support presence. The concluding chapters and epilogue affirm that faithfulness is not found in arrival or completion, but in availability.

Here I Am, As I Am is especially meaningful for:

• Those weary of striving—even in spiritual life
• Caregivers, ministers, and helpers who feel quietly exhausted
• Readers navigating grief, aging, illness, or limitation
• Anyone longing for a faith rooted in grace rather than performance

This book does not ask readers to become someone else.

It invites them to discover that they are already met by God, exactly where they are.