Farts

Fortuitous Flatulation

De: Alex Fogel

Narrado por: Virtual Voice

“Where trouble melts like lemon drops, high above the chimney tops that's where you'll find me…”

Who hasn’t fantasized about being able to soar like a bird?

This story told by Paula begins with her journey to Camp Hackenspit, where she meets and is forced to tolerate the two-day car trip in the company of the most annoying boy she had ever met, 13-year-old Beanie Conway. She thinks he is juvenile, irresponsible, and certainly not someone that she wants to spend her summer around.

Paula’s fortunes do not improve once they arrive at Camp Hackenspit. She, along with five other girls are assigned to the Pimmpelnöz cabin. Paula learns to her dismay that her cabin had been paired for the summer with the boys from the Skrachiebutz cabin, where Beanie Conway resides. Rules at Camp Hackenspit require all cabin residents to compete in any events, leaving Paula with no choice in the loogie contest that Beanie has committed their two cabins to participate in.
Paula’s stubborn, competitive spirit, coupled with coaching advice obtained from eavesdropping on Beanie, allows her to win the contest for their team. Their cabins are rewarded that evening at dinner with a treat that only their table enjoys, freshly made lemonade.

Her first night’s sleep at Camp Hackenspit is interrupted when Paula is awakened by screams and thuds in the Pimmpelnöz cabin. Startled to find herself floating in the air above her bunk, Paula’s immediate need is to relieve the pressure from the intestinal gas she is experiencing. She is startled further when her flatulence causes her to fall back onto her bed.

Realizing that all the other girls in her cabin had experienced the same floating as her, Paula quickly dismisses any thoughts that they all shared the same dream. The floating had been real and the gas was beginning to affect them again while they were all wide awake. Encouraging her cabin mates to release any gas that they felt, Paula reassured everyone that while they might not understand what was causing them to float, they could control it through flatulence.

Paula reluctantly agrees to partner with Beanie to investigate the source of the mysterious helium gas that only their two cabins experienced while they encouraged their cabin mates to keep the event secret. As their investigation unfolds, Paula begins to realize that her first impressions of Beanie Conway might have been wrong. It was true that he had a carefree, impish, and playful attitude but he also had a keen mind, a compassionate heart, and early signs of being the type of gentleman that made a girl feel special. Most telling for Paula is how Beanie always treated her as his equal and as his friend.

Through trial, error, and mutual trust, Paula and Beanie develop the confidence they need to search, experiment, and finally prove that as best friends, they could identify the source of the helium, recreate the proper environment for it to reanimate, and then train their bodies to safely and secretly share an adventurous summer soaring among the clouds.