Doing It Right

Why Horses Don’t Feel Connected

De: Paulette Clark

Narrado por: Virtual Voice

Most people who care deeply about their horse are trying to do it right.

They’ve learned the methods.
They’ve followed the guidance.
They’ve been careful, conscientious, and responsible.

And yet, somewhere along the way, something starts to feel off.

You’re paying attention, but not to what you’re actually sensing.
You’re following a process, but you feel slightly disconnected while you do it.
You notice moments where something in you hesitates, tightens, or questions — and you move past it, because you don’t want to get it wrong.

This book looks at what happens in those moments.

Not when things are obviously falling apart, but when everything appears correct on the surface. When the session looks fine. When progress is being made — and yet something essential isn’t present.

Doing It Right explores a deeply normalised human pattern: overriding what you are feeling in real time in order to follow what you believe you should be doing. Reaching for methods, rules, or techniques instead of staying with what is actually unfolding.

For most women, this pattern didn’t begin with horses.

It formed much earlier — in environments where being correct, compliant, or sensible mattered more than what you were actually feeling. Where uncertainty was uncomfortable, mistakes carried consequences, and trusting yourself wasn’t encouraged. Over time, learning to follow the “right” way became safer than listening inwardly.

That habit doesn’t disappear just because you love your horse.

From the horse’s perspective, this pattern can be felt as a human who is present but not fully available. Decisions are made from rules rather than from what is being sensed in the moment. Adjustments happen, but they’re guided by correctness instead of connection. The horse may comply, resist, hesitate, or disengage — not because of training errors, but because the interaction is organised around getting it right rather than staying responsive.

From the human perspective, this pattern is often confusing. You’re doing everything you’ve been taught. You’re being careful. You’re trying to do the right thing. And still, something in the connection never quite lands.

This book does not criticise women for wanting guidance or structure. It looks honestly at the cost of relying on external systems when they replace listening — to the horse, and to yourself.

At the heart of this book is a simple but uncomfortable question:
what happens when you stop trying to do it right, and start following your intuition — the wise, grounded knowing that’s been there all along?

For many readers, recognising this pattern is unsettling at first. And then deeply relieving. Because once you see it, so much begins to make sense — not just with horses, but in how you’ve learned to cope, comply, and stay safe in relationships throughout your life.

Book 5 of The Human Mirror in Horse Behaviour series, Doing It Right is written for women who care deeply, who have tried hard, and who sense that something essential has been missing — even when everything looked correct.

And once that pattern is seen, something shifts.
Not because you’ve learned a better way to do things — but because you stop abandoning what you already know.