Do I Not Matter?

The residual you left behind

“Do I not matter" is a question that is often asked of a parent by children. The question is an honest one yet it can be difficult to hear because it can sometimes be uncomfortable for the parent to answer. Why? because it requires a moment of vulnerability by the parent, an opportunity to communicate either verbally or emotionally, answers that can be difficult to express for some. It requires an honest evaluation of digging into what the question being asked is asking. Can you as a parent sufficiently fill the void that is causing the child to question their importance in your life? Because sometimes the answers can bring up uncomfortable emotions stemming from a history that has nothing to do with the child who asks the question but, rather the unresolved issues from a difficult childhood of the parent especially when that parent comes from a single-parent household. Sometimes children can internalize things and believe that they are the reason for being abandoned by a family member or loved one. These unrealized patterns can then reveal themselves again when they themselves become parents. You discover that your children are exhibiting signs of the same emotional difficulties or patterns that you yourself experienced like anger or disappointment.