Behind Closed Doors

De: Johan Botha

Narrado por: Virtual Voice

Behind Closed Doors is a raw and unflinching account of unresolved grief, sexual abuse, drug exposure, and life under the control of a deeply disturbed parent. It confronts the hidden world of child sexual abuse and the lasting damage carried into adulthood by those who survive it.

Abused by both family members and his own father, Johan is dragged into a world of drugs, alcohol, and sexual exploitation long before he understands what is happening to him. His father’s domination extends to forcing him into sexual acts with other men, stripping away safety, choice, and trust. Fear becomes constant. Survival becomes instinct.

To cope, Johan retreats inward. He becomes isolated, building an inner world of imagined heroes and villains to make sense of the chaos around him. Trust does not come easily. As an adult, he struggles with intimacy, commitment, and responsibility, shaped by trauma that never truly loosens its grip. Learning how to live, rather than merely endure, becomes his greatest challenge.

Writing this book became part of Johan’s healing process. His hope is simple and urgent: to reach others who are living with similar wounds and to let them know they are not alone.

Praise for Agter Geslote Deure
“This book gripped me deeply with the author’s honesty and emotional exposure. It reflects a 35-year struggle against abuse and silence. It forces us to ask difficult questions. Where were the systems meant to protect this child? Where were the adults and professionals? This book confronts the pain of being human when those entrusted with care become the source of harm.”
Naomie Victor, Social Worker, 37 years experience

Johan Botha is also the author of Agter Geslote Deure and is currently working on several fiction titles. Creative writing is his life’s focus, pursued at the cost of comfort and security. He plans to give talks at schools and public venues to raise awareness around sexual abuse, drug abuse, and the long-term effects of childhood trauma.

Johan grew up in Johannesburg. His literary influences include Wilbur Smith, Dean Koontz, and Stephen King.