EP 3679 it's a misery competition

In this episode of The Strong Life Project Podcast, Shaun O'Gorman tackles a mindset that quietly erodes resilience, relationships, and personal growth, the "misery competition." It's the habit of comparing suffering, where people measure their challenges against others and either minimise their own pain or amplify it to gain validation. Both ends of that spectrum are damaging.

Shaun draws on his experience as a former police officer and high-performance coach to explain why this thinking keeps people stuck. When you focus on proving who has it worse, you avoid taking responsibility for improving your situation. It becomes an excuse to stay frustrated, resentful, and disconnected. Instead of using adversity as a catalyst for growth, you turn it into a reason to remain exactly where you are.

This episode breaks down how the misery competition shows up in everyday life, at work, in relationships, and even in your own internal dialogue. Shaun highlights how your Reticular Activating System filters your reality, meaning the more you focus on struggle and unfairness, the more evidence you find to support it. Over time, that becomes your identity.

The alternative is simple, but not easy. Stop comparing your pain to others and start owning your response to it. Your challenges are valid, but they are also your responsibility. When you shift your focus from comparison to action, you take back control. That's where real resilience is built.

If you want to lead a stronger, calmer, and more fulfilled life, this episode will challenge you to let go of the need to compete in misery and instead compete in growth, accountability, and progress.