"Every Moment of Every Day": Protective Parenting Guidance with Dr. Christine Cocchiola

Navigating court-ordered visitation can be overwhelming for children, especially when they're required to spend time with predatory parent. Many kids cope by masking their true emotions, staying compliant during visits, and then unraveling once they're safe at home—often exhibiting behaviors like anger, withdrawal, people-pleasing, or even sudden aggression. These responses leave protective parents feeling confused, guilty, and drained.

In this episode, we review Dr. Christine Cocchiola’s insightful children's book, Every Moment of Every Day, and delve deeper into what’s really going on beneath the surface for mothers and children navigating custody orders. Dr. Cocchiola, a clinician, protective parent, and author, sheds light on how coercive control intentionally disrupts a child’s attachment to the safe parent through shame, manipulation, and false narratives. She explains the four stress responses—fight, flight, freeze, and fawn—and why children may mimic an abuser, appear "fine" when they're not, or act out upon returning home.

The conversation offers practical strategies for navigating transitions, such as co-regulation instead of interrogation, empowering children with choice, and using rhythmic, relational activities like music, dancing, trampoline play, drumming, or pillow forts to help them release stress. We also discuss Dr. Cocchiola’s “three Ps” for managing high-stakes handoffs and acknowledge the difficulty of healing when court-mandated contact persists. Still, Dr. Cocchiola reminds us that meaningful recovery is possible through informed, protective parenting and intentional repair.

If you’re concerned about child safety, family court custody battles, trauma-informed parenting, or the impact of coercive control, this review and discussion of Every Moment of Every Day will equip you with critical insights and actionable steps for supporting children through challenging transitions.