98. How I did it - Dating after abuse, self-trust, and deciding you're not too broken

Dating after domestic violence, coercive control, or post-separation abuse is one of the most under-discussed topics in the survivor space. Most people are somewhere between terrified and convinced it's simply not possible for them.

In this honest, personal episode, Danielle Black shares what dating after abuse actually looked like from the inside - not a glossy highlight reel, but the real experience of venturing back into connection while still afraid.

This episode explores:

• Why "my picker is broken" is one of the most common fears after abusive relationships - and what to do with it
• The difference between waiting until you're not afraid, and doing it afraid anyway
• Why safety is not the absence of threat - it is the presence of safe connection
• How self-trust, not trust in another person, is the foundation of healthy relationships after abuse
• What Danielle looked for, paid attention to, and would have walked away from
• The role of nervous system capacity in building new relationships after trauma
• Why "not fully healed" is not the same as "not ready"
• What it means to love fully while trusting yourself to have your own back

This episode follows on from Episode 97, in which Danielle's husband Drew joined the podcast for the first time. It does not require you to have listened to that episode first - but listeners who have will find it deepens what was raised there.

If you have wondered whether healthy relationships after abuse are possible for you - or whether you are simply too damaged, too cautious, or too far from ready - this episode is for you.

As always, this episode is not legal advice and not therapy.

Explore the supports offered by Danielle Black Coaching

The Post-Separation Parenting Blueprint™
👉 https://www.danielleblackcoaching.com.au/the-post-separation-parenting-blueprint-1

AI Danielle - Your 24/7 Digital Coach
👉 https://www.danielleblackcoaching.com.au/meet-ai-danielle

1:1 Coaching
👉 https://www.danielleblackcoaching.com.au/1-1-coaching

The music you hear in this outro is 'Calm is Credible' - an original track created exclusively for the Post-Separation Abuse Podcast and Danielle Black Coaching. You can listen and download this track via the Danielle Black Coaching website, in our 'free resources' area.

About Danielle Black Coaching:

Danielle Black is a respected authority in child-focused post-separation parenting in Australia. With over twenty years’ experience across education, counselling and coaching - alongside her own lived experience navigating a complex separation and family court journey - she supports parents to think strategically, build capacity, and protect their children’s safety and wellbeing within complex legal and relational systems.

Through Danielle Black Coaching, she leads a growing team of specialist coaches and a structured support ecosystem designed to provide professionally held, evidence-informed guidance for parents navigating high-conflict separation and family court processes.

Learn more at danielleblackcoaching.com.au

This podcast is for educational purposes only and not legal advice. Please seek independent legal, medical, financial, or mental health advice for your situation.